Posts Tagged: sad

INTERRUPT THE REGULAR

Hi there. Hello, What’s up? G’day. Yo, whatevz, what’s the happs? How are you? Gooood? Yeah, me too, well you know, could be better, but heeey, first world, can’t complain aye?

Okay then, now that the awkward postponed internet greeting has been dealt with, I shall get back to my regular blogging flow. Well, not quite yet. First, I’m going to congratulate the United States of America for electing Obama as the president once again. Thank you. I’ve been thinking about possibly moving to the U.S (specifically L.A) lately, and if Mitt Romney won… well, I would definitely have to reconsider.

Greeeaat, my left hand is currently falling asleep. How convenient, I have a feeling this is the result of typing and how cold my hands are at the moment. ANYWAY.

Speaking of American elections. I stumbled across this article about a bunch of ill informed American citizens who would like to move to Australia because Barack Obama will be the president for another term. I found it fucking hilarious. I was going to go on and on about why this idea is incredibly stupid, but I think this graphic I found sums it up quite well.

Yes, that’s right mofos. We have universal health care, and I’m pretty damn cerain we (most of us, other than a few crazy people) all like it. In fact, this year the Medicare levy was raised for those earning above a certain amount of money per annum. I think it’s about $84,000+ for singles, and guess what? There was no uproar, no talk about fucking death panels (uuuuuuuugh) in fact, most people working in Health care thought it was a good thing. I don’t understand how a country can truly consider themselves modern without universal health care to be honest. Health care should be the NUMBER ONE priority in my opinion, that and education. I’m so so so soooo glad we have Medicare. Sure, it’s definitely not perfect, but thanks to Medicare I have been hospitalised multiple times without having to worry about money. I received the best care from a damn Professor of Cardiology and I did not pay a cent.

The whole education deal in the U.S freaks me out too. I’m going to be honest here, I don’t know much about how the system works. All I know is, when I was on exchange, my friend and I didn’t have to pay for tuition in Buffalo because our CSP (Commonwealth Supported Place) was covering the cost, as it usually would at Monash. For a semester the money was given to UB instead. We, as international students, didn’t have to pay tuition to attend an American University, but the local students had to pay, WTF?! No really, what is up with that? Lastly, most of us think the whole ‘right to bear arms’ crap is a pointless load of bullshit. I hate guns.

I’M SO OVER THE HUMAN RACE BEING SCREWED

The charming words in the title are the result of a rant my sister had tonight. A rant because of the main story that has been taking up a majority of news time locally, recently. If you’re Australian, you have most likely already heard of the tragic case of Jill Meagher. If not Australian, and unaware, type her name into Google, it won’t take you long to figure out what happened. I’ve walked on Sydney Road, quite a few times, during the day and a couple of times during the night. It is not a place you expect to find yourself threatened. Then again, a place that makes you feel unsafe and on edge shouldn’t even exist. I will never understand how anybody could ever think it’s ok to murder another individual. What right do any of us have to take life away from somebody else? No right, is the answer, nobody has that right. No one. 

About a week and a half ago, Madeline posted this. Madeline, is a smart cookie and she’s correct when she tells us that we still need feminism. To be blunt, and very Australian here (if ya know what I mean) fuck oath we do. Madeline’s post made me begin to think about all of the times, I have been treated differently, because of my gender. Because, I happen to be a female. Do you know how many times people tell me to fucking smile? Do you? I’ll tell you, A LOT. Most of the time, I just shrug it off, because I’ve heard it on so many occasions that I’ve become used to it, but sometimes, it really angers me. Why is it so important that I constantly smile? Once, an old man, basically ordered me to smile more. For what fucking reason? I don’t see anybody approaching any men, ordering that they smile more. Why, do we, as women, have to constantly exude this overtly polite, nice, warm, friendly, nature? If a man doesn’t smile, no one thinks anything of it, if a man looks pissed off… still, no one thinks much of it, in fact, many even find this attractive. You know, the whole… ‘bad boy’ image. If a woman doesn’t have a huge smile on her face 24/7, there are those who will assume she’s a bitch. I know this, because people have told me. I don’t smile very often, it’s not that I’m constantly miserable, but my natural facial expression doesn’t position itself into a fucking smile. I have no control over the way my face naturally looks without expression, yet people feel the need to constantly tell me to smile. Why the hell do I have to look friendly and welcoming all the time anyway? I actually like the fact that I happen to look unapproachable most of the time, perhaps it will deter freaks from approaching me when I’m alone. So yeah, there is that whole smile problem.

Another thing. A few weeks ago when I was working, I mentioned how awesome I was (because you know, in some ways, I am pretty awesome), my colleague (a male) made fun of me and mocked my confidence. At that moment, it was like there was a lightbulb in my head that suddenly turned on. Why should I not have confidence? I thought to myself. I explained to him that I find it bizarre that female confidence is often questioned and perceived as bitchy, especially if the confidence is displayed frequently, (unless it’s the social sort of confidence, the type of confidence that makes it easy for a woman to approach a man and strike up a flirty conversation, that’s the type of confidence men love) while male confidence and sometimes even arrogance is seen as a positive or merely laughed off.

Back to the whole smiling issue now. Have you ever been approached by a creep and spoken to? Have you ever looked back and given them the fuck off look? Have you ever told a bunch of boys to leave you alone? I have, and the response I most often remember is something along the lines of:

Why are you such a bitch?
I just wanted to talk!
You’re a slut!!!!!!!!!!!
All of these are always said in a frightening, aggressive tone

So you know, because I don’t want to engage in a boring conversation with some seedy dude, I’m a slut. Uh huh. You know what’s fucked up? Men don’t even really have an equivalent word to describe assumed promiscuity. It’s only us women that get the whole slut card shoved in our faces. I find the whole slut calling thing, when you’ve told a guy to get lost, really messed up. Firstly, because… well, what the fuck is a slut anyway? That is such a stupid, pathetic, oppressive insult. You know what I’m saying girls? Secondly, somebody randomly calling me a slut, is assuming that I happen to have sex with a lot of people, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I find it rude that somebody would make assumptions about my sexual activity and attempt to degrade me for it, just because I don’t want to speak to them. As if I have some obligation to speak to them, just because they happen to be a man.

I think what a lot of men have to realise, is that we are not pieces of fucking meat. Yes, even if I’m wearing a short skirt and a crop top, even if my thighs are exposed, even if I have decided to expose cleavage, whatever. That does NOT IN ANY WAY OR FORM GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TREAT ME LIKE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I AM, A FUCKING HUMAN BEING.  When I’m driving, I don’t appreciate being stared at by older men in their cars or trucks, like a bloody object. I’m not a toy in a fucking department store, show some god damn basic respect. The whistles, the cat calling, the blatant stares, no, I don’t find them flattering, I find them insulting and guess what?! That doesn’t make me a bitch.

Jill Meagher did not deserve what happened to her because she was walking alone, she didn’t deserve it because she had been drinking, she didn’t deserve it because she was pretty, what happened to her was not okay because she wasn’t some douche bag’s idea of what ‘hot’ is. It is never, ever, EVER, EVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER, okay to rape someone. EVEEER!! I don’t care if the girl is fucking naked and drunk, it is NEVER OK. Okay. Good. There is nothing a woman can do that makes rape justifiable. It is always wrong and it’s never the victim’s fault. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise, because that is the biggest load of bullshit that could possibly exist.

SEPTEMBER 11TH

I know it was eleven years ago today, (I can’t believe it’s been over a decade actually, holy shit) but unless I unfortunately have Alzheimer’s  when I’m older, I don’t think I’ll ever forget that image of a plane being used as a weapon, flying into a building, in New York City. I still remember sitting there, in front of the T.V at 7.30 in the morning thinking to myself, “WHAT is going on?!” I was only 10 at the time, yet I felt shocked, afraid and so incredibly sad for all those innocent people involved. Nine years later, I found myself in NYC, finally. My friend and I decided to visit Ground Zero and go to the memorial museum that was set up. Despite the fact that I don’t know anyone who was personally involved in the tragedy, reading transcripts of telephone calls that were made, about how families were effected. It was too much for me. I was fighting back tears, and I’m pretty sure my friend was too. The entire experience (visiting that museum) was so sad. That day started a war, which in turn has destroyed countless more lives.

I feel like the people on September 11th died so unnecessarily. A few nights ago, the movie, United 93, was on Television. While watching it, I was instantly overcome with rage. I got so angry, soo angry, that all those people died, because a few people decided that they would sacrifice themselves and hundreds of other innocent lives for some stupid, totally pointless cause. People who can actually be manipulated to become suicide bombers are so mentally weak, at least I think so.

I don’t want this post to only be about September 11th, 2001. Because the reality is, that people die every single day, for completely pointless and preventable things. There are so many people, and I’m talking generally now, who are so freaking willing to do evil things. Since September 11th, thousands upon thousands of people have died. Of course, dying is a part of life. You start to slowly decay, from the moment you begin to live. But dying, so unnecessarily… is just plain depressing. There are people who die, every single day, because of human greed, corruption and all things evil. Those people aren’t just statistics, they’re not just numbers, they’re humans. Like you and me, they have feelings, consciousness, hopes, desires, aspirations, fears, they have a network of people who love them, and they’re prematurely taken away, for such pathetic reasons. Through mass murders, terrorist attacks, war, random drunken bashings, a fucked up, massive, fast food industry (hello hypertension, atherosclerosis etc.) Innocent people lose their lives to stupidity, every single day.

So for me, September 11th not only reminds me of the American tragedy, but of the tragedies that our entire species goes through every single day. It reminds me that despite all my problems and issues and blah blah blah. I’m still, pretty fucking lucky. There are millions of people, so much worse off, and it’s so unfair. I almost feel guilty for even having a blog or using the internet at this point. Or for even posting the following outfit images.

I truly dislike my own appearance most of the time. You know what though? There are so many people who don’t even have the time to think, “Ew, I’m so ugly” There are people on this planet, who don’t even own a damn mirror, so whatever. Be thankful for what you all have today, because you all have a lot more than most people, and you never know when everything you take for granted could be stolen from you.

JOY, OH JOY…

The state of my existence is currently sucking the life out of me. Nothing to report here. Everything is quite dull, I miss creating :( I guess this outfit is a good representation of my current mood. Also kind of dull, not that exciting. Better posts are on their way. Better times too, hopefully.

SUP VIRUS

Believe it or not, this post was actually going to exist a lot sooner, however, I was recently struck down, with mighty force by yet another virus. This one has produced the usual cold symptoms, except for one. Last night, I woke up at around 3AM, feeling like shit, as you do when you’re ill. After a few minutes of laying in my bed, feeling sorry for myself, I realised that I had a dull yet fairly strong pain radiating from the roof of my mouth. I moved my jaw around, and realised that my entire jaw hurt. I laid there for about an hour, went to the bathroom, came back and the pain remained. Strange, I thought, I’ve never experienced jaw pains while I was sick before. We’re never really left wondering in this day and age. After a quick google search I discovered that this symptom is not uncommon for a sinus infection. Luckily for me, Dr. Google didn’t tell me I was about to die, so I took some panadol and went to sleep.

Every time I’ve worked extended hours, I end up being sick, every single time. I’m not sure why, I guess it’s because I have to come into contact with so many people. Way more than usual, seeing as I’m such a hermit. I also have difficulty falling asleep early, even when I have to wake up at 7AM every single day. It sucks, because my body doesn’t function very well when I don’t sleep for at least eight hours. I know, I sound like such a weak loser. I’m not hardcore at all.

I’m seriously thinking about bleaching my hair next week and going pink, like I’ve wanted to for almost nine years. It’s pretty expensive though. Uuugh, WHAT TO DO?! TELL ME WHAT TO DO. Anyway, I really like my creepers, have I told you that before? I really like them. Yeah. They’re awesomeJust like the colour pink, leopard print, zelda, iggy azalea, red velvet cupcakes…. 

mmmm cupcakes. Bye.