Posts Tagged: photography

EXERCISE IS SO BORING BUT…

Does anyone remember when I began to think about being healthier and what not? I’m not exactly sure when, but it was a few months ago. I was going to discuss something srs today but eh, it’s been a long day, and quite frankly, ceebs right now. So I’m going to discuss something slightly (more like entirely) out of character, health. Like, exercise and diet type health. Because, you know, before I got started, I was completely lost and hey, I most definitely would not call myself an expert, far FAR from it. As far as you could get in fact, however, if I can assist anyone to start doing something, well… that’s pretty good I’d say.

I started the change, hmm, probably like 2 and a half months ago now. It’s a slow process, that is for sure, especially if you’re literally starting from the beginning, like I did. I was extremely unfit. I never ever exercised, like ever. I find it immensely boring unfortunately, I really do wish I enjoyed it, it would make this whole thing a lot easier. For the last 11 or so weeks I have exercised every single day, and I have completely changed my eating habits. I no longer eat any white pasta, rice, bread (unless it’s a special occasion, like my birthday this Saturday) and I avoid potatoes and all the other main carbs. I’ve eaten pasta maybe three times, it was brown and a much smaller serving than I would usually eat. I still eat quite a lot, I can’t help it, I’ve always had a big appetite, but I eat very differently. For instance, for lunch, I used to eat a large bowl of white pasta or a bowl of white rice with curry and I always ate a shit load of cheese. Now I would eat a bowl of salad with some feta cheese and a piece of mock (vegetarian) chicken breast, or something like that. Considering I absolutely LOVE pasta and rice, the change wasn’t exactly that easy, but the longer you do it for, the less tempted you feel and I’ve learnt to enjoy vegetables a lot more. There is so much you can do with vegetables, it’s quite amazing.

I guess you have to find some sort of motivation to stick to a complete lifestyle change. For me it was mainly two things. One, I’ve always hated my body, well maybe not always. I didn’t really care as a child, but since about the age of 13, I just haven’t been happy with my appearance, ever. I’m only 5’0, carrying the extra weight and looking flabby when I saw myself in the mirror made me feel so stumpy. I just hated it and I’m still not entirely happy. I know this is probably more of a psychological issue, because I’m the smallest I’ve ever been at the moment, and I’m still not really satisfied. More so because I would like to look more toned I guess, but that takes a lot of hard work, which I realise and am willing to do work on now. Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, I wanted to be healthier and fitter. I think the second reason is why I stuck to my plan this time. I mean, I’ve hated my body for nine years now, and every single time I tried to do something about it, I gave up. I really wanted to be healthy this time though, I’m becoming a lot more conscious about what I put inside my body these days. Now when I look at cakes and sweets, I think twice about actually eating them. I think about what was used to create these products and whether I actually want that stuff inside of me. Considering I have hypochondria, the cause of my horrible long episode of anxiety from August 2011 till May this year, I thought trying to be healthier might help my mind feel more at ease about how vulnerable my body really is to illness. It does help, for me at least.

In terms of exercise, at the start, I started with 40 sit ups, 40 lunges, 40 squats and 15 minutes on a bike machine per day. I did that for about 2 weeks, then I moved up to 20 minutes on the bike. After 2 more weeks of that, I would do 80 sit ups, 40 lunges, 40 squats, 10 push ups and 30 minutes on the bike machine, every day. After about 4-5 weeks of this, I decided it was time to finally start jogging. So last week, my dad and I started jogging. I’ve been about 4 times now, in the days in between or when I can’t, I go back to my bike machine routine. My dad and I go out for about 30 – 40 minutes each time. Today, I jogged for 10 minutes straight without stopping :) I would still definitely consider myself a beginner, so I obviously can’t jog the full 30 minutes yet, I power walk in between sets of jogging. Jogging for a full half an hour is probably going to take a while, but at least I’m trying right?

It’s a little difficult to avoid carbs when you’re a vegetarian, but it’s not impossible! You just have to be creative, I’ve realised that you don’t need carbs, especially white pasta and rice. Besides, there are carbs in carrots and most vegetables and fruit, so I know I receive enough energy. I use a lot of Quorn products, they’re quite good :) I also eat a lot of lentils, chickpeas and so many different vegetables. My boyfriend and I also discovered a few other things during this food adventure. Below are a few of my favourites.

The sesame snaps are delicious, they are not the most low calorie snack you could eat, but man, I love them. Plus, considering I used to eat a massive triple chocolate muffin like every single day when I was 17, I figure this is a pretty decent replacement for my usual chocolate fix. Sometimes, I really do want to eat actual chocolate though, and the Atkins Endulge bar is great :) I wouldn’t recommend eating it every single day, but it’s pretty decent. It’s not as good as Cadbury or anything, but for a healthier alternative, it’s pretty decent. I hear dark chocolate is great for you too, but I can not stomach the taste, ew >.< Yoplait’s forme vanilla yogurt is the best yogurt I have ever had. Which is pretty amusing, because most people note that it’s good for a healthy alternative, but not as nice. I disagree, I actually prefer this to the variety with more calories. I really like it. However, I grew up with a horrible selection of food. My mum was a terrible cook, and I was pretty much raised on meals consisting of plain rice, plain over cooked soggy pasta (no sauce), grilled un seasoned meat that was cooked for so long that it felt incredibly stiffed, fast food and frozen meals. As a result, I don’t mind eating food without a shit load of flavour. Vanilla yogurt is actually my favourite. I hate the extra stuff. Lastly, the Quorn mince, is excellent! It’s low in fat and carbs and very high in protein. I use this product so often because you can do so much to it. Sometimes I just fry it with onion and a few vegetables. My ethnicity is Greek, so there are a lot of meals I can still enjoy thanks to the Quorn mince, like Keftedes (yuuuuuum) and Gemistes aka Stuffed Vegetables. In fact, I made them myself for the first time tonight.

Usually these are full of rice and meat mince. I decided to stuff them with the Quorn mince, brown onions, carrots, capsicum, celery, spring onions, asparagus and cauliflower. I added my favourite type of tomato sauce, and damn… do they taste good! I can’t wait to eat them tomorrow. ANYHOW, SORRY TO BORE YOU ALL WITH MY DULL FOOD AND EXERCISE TALK. I’LL MOVE ON TO THE STYLE SHIT NOW.

After I did this to my hair about a month ago, my boyfriend and I went and wondered around Myer. Because hanging out in department stores is fun sometimes. I was trying on hats, and we were told off for taking photographs. Way to ruin our fun Myer! NO WONDER YOUR SALES ARE SO LOW.

I also decided to try a cocktail or the first time in mah life. It was uuh, bigger than my freaking head! I didn’t really like it to be honest, the only alcoholic drink I’ve ever tasted and enjoyed is Smirnoff Ice Red, and guess what? It’s packed with sugar of course. Ha. Good thing I drink very rarely.

Don’t know wassup with my expression here. These are the first pair of jeans I have willingly bought and wanted to wear for YEARS like, 5 or 6 years? I sold them on e-bay though, they were a little big for me. It’s cool though, I replaced them with an awesome pair of Unif leopard print high waisted skinny pants, I’m also planning to purchase a pair of Motel leopard print jeans, the print on them is a lot nicer than the print on the jeans I’m wearing in the image above this paragraph. Alright, 1535 words, I’m going to shut up now.

SEPTEMBER 11TH

I know it was eleven years ago today, (I can’t believe it’s been over a decade actually, holy shit) but unless I unfortunately have Alzheimer’s  when I’m older, I don’t think I’ll ever forget that image of a plane being used as a weapon, flying into a building, in New York City. I still remember sitting there, in front of the T.V at 7.30 in the morning thinking to myself, “WHAT is going on?!” I was only 10 at the time, yet I felt shocked, afraid and so incredibly sad for all those innocent people involved. Nine years later, I found myself in NYC, finally. My friend and I decided to visit Ground Zero and go to the memorial museum that was set up. Despite the fact that I don’t know anyone who was personally involved in the tragedy, reading transcripts of telephone calls that were made, about how families were effected. It was too much for me. I was fighting back tears, and I’m pretty sure my friend was too. The entire experience (visiting that museum) was so sad. That day started a war, which in turn has destroyed countless more lives.

I feel like the people on September 11th died so unnecessarily. A few nights ago, the movie, United 93, was on Television. While watching it, I was instantly overcome with rage. I got so angry, soo angry, that all those people died, because a few people decided that they would sacrifice themselves and hundreds of other innocent lives for some stupid, totally pointless cause. People who can actually be manipulated to become suicide bombers are so mentally weak, at least I think so.

I don’t want this post to only be about September 11th, 2001. Because the reality is, that people die every single day, for completely pointless and preventable things. There are so many people, and I’m talking generally now, who are so freaking willing to do evil things. Since September 11th, thousands upon thousands of people have died. Of course, dying is a part of life. You start to slowly decay, from the moment you begin to live. But dying, so unnecessarily… is just plain depressing. There are people who die, every single day, because of human greed, corruption and all things evil. Those people aren’t just statistics, they’re not just numbers, they’re humans. Like you and me, they have feelings, consciousness, hopes, desires, aspirations, fears, they have a network of people who love them, and they’re prematurely taken away, for such pathetic reasons. Through mass murders, terrorist attacks, war, random drunken bashings, a fucked up, massive, fast food industry (hello hypertension, atherosclerosis etc.) Innocent people lose their lives to stupidity, every single day.

So for me, September 11th not only reminds me of the American tragedy, but of the tragedies that our entire species goes through every single day. It reminds me that despite all my problems and issues and blah blah blah. I’m still, pretty fucking lucky. There are millions of people, so much worse off, and it’s so unfair. I almost feel guilty for even having a blog or using the internet at this point. Or for even posting the following outfit images.

I truly dislike my own appearance most of the time. You know what though? There are so many people who don’t even have the time to think, “Ew, I’m so ugly” There are people on this planet, who don’t even own a damn mirror, so whatever. Be thankful for what you all have today, because you all have a lot more than most people, and you never know when everything you take for granted could be stolen from you.

WHY DOES MY IMMUNE SYSTEM HATE ME?

If you read the title of this post and guessed that I’m sick, congratulations, because that is correct. Yes, I’m sick, yet again. I had literally only been better for a week when I woke up this morning with the exact same feeling in my throat that I had two weeks ago. F****ck mah lyf. I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that I literally worked for six days straight the last time I was sick, and then went back to work three days later when I was ‘better’. Work is pretty much a breeding ground for viruses right now, so many staff members seem to be sick and so many customers I have to serve seem to be sick. I have a feeling my body never really recovered, so now, here I am again, back at square one. Despite my dad’s pressure to go to work, cause… “there’s nothing wrong with you!” I decided to call in sick. I’m not going to keep this sick cycle going on and on, FUCK THAT. I don’t want the virus to break down my immune system and attack my heart again. NO, step the fuck back virus, and GTFO of my body! Hmm, ok, maybe I’m officially weird now, and not in the cooooooool hipster sense.

I present to you some candid shots of yours truly, don’t I just look charming? With my bizarre expressions. I’m not very good at this whole looking pretty thing, am I? Most bloggers seem to be pros at that! What is their secret?!

Just in case you happen to care, or are interested, even just a tiny bit, here I was, waiting at the station for a train to take my boyfriend and I to the citaaay. CITAY OF COMPTON, WE KEEP IT ROOCKIIIIIN, WE KEEP IT ROOOOCKIN, YO, YO, NOW LET ME WELCOME EEEVERYBODY TO THE WILD WILD WEST! Ok, I’m not actually from Compton, California, I just got a little carried away there. Forgive me? Well, the last part made a little bit of sense, I do live on the west side of Melbourne. WEST SAAAIDE REPRAZAAANT BITCHEZ. It appears being sick has made me a lil’ loopay.

Once we reached our destination, I decided to go and get my eyebrows done. This is only like…hmm, the fifth time I’ve had them done professionally? I’m going to keep up with it this time. My boyfriend doesn’t really understand this part of life and when I told him what I was going to do, he kind of just looked at me like ??????????????????????????????? as shown in the above image.

Afterwards I met up with Wendy and Sarah, they are both lovely girls, and we went SHAWPPING! Well, as much shopping as we could do on a typical Melbournian Sunday after 4pm. I actually bought something. A metallic pink bag, I haven’t bought anything IRL for aaaaaaaages man! I do all my shopping online. The image above is of Sarah’s hair. It looks excellent! I didn’t get a photo with either of them! Next time, next time, come back to Melbourne soon Wendy!

We had to part ways, so I met up with my BF again and we ate Indian food, ah, so tasty.

That was my outfit, that dress is so easy to wear, so comfortable and very practical. As for the UNIF Hellbounds, my oh my, do I love those shoes! I have four pairs of them now and I could literally wear them every single day. I don’t think I’ve ever loved a shoe this much before! I feel like I can’t wear shoes without a 3 inch platform now. Besides flatforms, 3 inch platform + 4 inch heel flatforms are just ankle death for me. Oh, and flats of course. Yes, yes, I recently ordered a pair of flats. I have a car now, and sadly, I can’t drive with platform shoes on, it’s dangerous :(

To end this post, here is a sketch I found from 2009. I should sketch/draw more often, it’s enjoyable sometimes. Well guys, I’m just going to go drown in a pile of my own mucus now. Don’t visualise that, it may make you vomit. Soz.

SO LOW, SO SLOW

FINALLY, I am not in a state of being sick anymore. Took long enough!! I actually, kind of had this post ready to go yesterday, well, all the images were ready. I was about to start typing when I realised I was tired as hell, I decided to pass on finishing this post and go to sleep instead. I know, I’m so weak. Example of my weakling status: Last week I bought a bottle of coke zero, I was by myself and couldn’t open the bottle. I struggled so much that my palm was red from the irritation. I had no choice but to go back to the point of purchase and ask the lady who served me to open the bottle for me. Ugh, very freaking embarrassing. I have to start exercising or something, my physical power is a complete joke. Why does exercise have to be so damn boring?! I used to attend dance classes 2 – 3 times a week for about eight years, but I got to the point where I couldn’t deal with the bubbly bitchy girls anymore, who ostracised me because I was ‘different’ and didn’t even dress ‘hip hop’ cause like, that is SUCH A CRIME.

After being sick for just over a week, I decided to actually put some effort into my appearance yesterday and make myself look half decent. First time I’ve worn this Unif Leopard Print jacket since I purchased it. It’s the most expensive item I own, but I don’t regret spending the money, this jacket is amazing, the quality feels excellent! Needless to say, I love this jacket.

While sick, I had to work six days in a row, so I literally felt like a zombie most of the time. When work finished and I arrived to my room, I would basically turn my computer on, try to make myself warm and just sit there, staring at the screen, trying to entertain myself without using much energy. I soon realised the brightness of a computer screen feels like death to my eyeballs while I’m sick. I had no other choice but to shift my focus to the T.V. I am one of those poor people (don’t take me too seriously dudes) who only has one Television at their place of residence. 99% of the time it’s ruled by my brother or sister.

Last week, my sister decided to have a week long O.C marathon. Does anybody remember The O.C? Man, my sister dragged me into Gossip Girl too, and I have to admit, Seth and Summer are a way cooler couple than Chuck and Blair. Plus, at least Summer evolves and slowly transforms into a mature, intelligent woman. While Blair isn’t a complete airhead, she constantly reverts back to her immature, annoying, scheming self. Also, Gossip Girl and The O.C combined, Seth is definitely my favourite character. He’s so cool!

………………………..

My sincere apologies if I’ve lost you at this point. Trust me, I am not in anyway proud of this O.C marathon I took part of. I may actually be slightly ashamed of it. Eeek.

ANYWAY to those who watched it during its heyday, you may remember the way the show ends. *SPOILER ALERT* Seth and Summer get married in the last episode. Naw, SO CA-UTE! Watching sequences about marriage places the thought of marriage into my own brain. I KNOW, I’m so easily manipulated by Television! So brainwashed I am, but hey! I was sick, my mind was vulnerable to being brainwashed. Man, I could never have a traditional wedding like that, especially if I was to marry my current boyfriend. We’re both socially awkward to an extent. I mean, all that attention, neither of us would be good at handling it. What do I like about weddings though? The thought of dressing up of course!!

I began to look at all sorts of wedding orientated things like wedding dresses and wedding shoes. Looking up vintage wedding dresses on Etsy is actually enjoyable, at least I think so. I also started looking at jewellery and found a website, via Hipster Musings full of so much luxurious jewellery!! They have diamond bracelets, diamond necklaces, diamond pendants.. DIAMOND EVERYTHING!! Hmm, my grandparents will be celebrating their 60TH wedding anniversary in 2014 I believe. That’s the diamond year, wow, 60 years people! That’s a very long time.

Ok well, sorry about the random post here, I’ll get back into the swing of things eventually. LATERS. I’m picking up my car tomorrow!! wooooohoo.

WHAT’S UP?

Today, I was waiting at a bus stop with my boyfriend and we were discussing the chapter of our lives titled: high school. High school, as some of you may remember, was an awful time for me. In year seven, where reputations are made and never forgotten. My completely clueless mother forced me to have my hair cut at a very, very short and unflattering length. She also refused to let me wax or pluck my eyebrows, the result: being left with a uni brow. I actually can’t believe I’m admitting that, WHATEVER, it’s just hair, and I’m old enough to realise that anybody who is going to judge me on that basis is not worth my time anyway. She also wouldn’t let me shave my legs. My dress was at the natural maxi length of the garment. Everyone else’s was tiny, at a mini length, basically everyone would have their school dresses altered… everyone that is, except me! My mother also didn’t allow me to wear make up, so everyone could see my oily pimply skin in all its glory, I didn’t have any hair tools either, so my hair was a short, frizzy, terrible mess.

This made my self esteem so low, that I basically didn’t even exist. I gained the ugly, gross, loser person status… which was hard for me, I had to sit at the front of the class every single day, by myself, people basically refused to sit next to me. All of this created a terrible experience, in some ways, it was truly scarring. No wonder I despise the human race so much these days. However, when I think of it today, what frustrates me the most, is how fucking shallow and cruel teenagers can be. Actually, not just teenagers, people in general. No one wanted to talk to me because I was ugly. I wasn’t a mean person, I wasn’t ‘weird’, I wasn’t ‘strange’. I just didn’t look pretty. I was smart for my age, I was also very mature and damn it, I WAS COOL! Yes, if you think I seem conceited for saying that, FUCK YOU. I’ve had enough days of feeling like shit about myself, if I want to say that I was cool, so be it. I was a ‘loser’ because everybody saw me that way, but I wasn’t really a loser, I knew a lot of things, and I was way more mature than most of the other mean people in my class, I was mature enough to actually take my education seriously and not take it for granted. Most people on the planet sadly don’t even have a chance to get an education, but no one in my class thought about that at the time. I was called a nerd day after day, for putting some effort into my work.

I wish people wouldn’t be so quick to judge. Don’t judge people before you even know them guys, just don’t. Don’t be mean to people for no reason either, IT’S EVIL. Especially because of the way one might look. Good looks have nothing to do with a person, ‘good’ looks are determined by genetic luck and looks fucking fade quickly anyway. I don’t know about you, but I will happily take personality over looks any day, and no this isn’t just something ‘ugly’ people say. This is actually why I get so annoyed about people going insane about randoms on tumblr because of how “OMFG BEAUTIFUL” they are, but that’s another story.

I was a little disappointed, even in my boyfriend, when I was telling him all of this. When I told him my school dress used to be long he responded with this.. “ugh” sound. I questioned him and he told me even he had the urge to tease girls with long dresses, although he didn’t. Apparently it was just so ‘weird’ and ‘odd’. This kind of pissed me off. As if us girls who had the longer dresses chose this, our parents wouldn’t let us alter them, and even if a girl DID choose to have her dress longer, WHO THE FUCK CARES?! IT’S A FUCKING DRESS PEOPLE.

Ok, I don’t even know who I’m directing this at right now. Clearly, I have a lot of anger built up about my whole high school experience. High school spans from year (grade) 7 to 12 here by the way. I can’t help it, sometimes I wish I could go back in time, knowing what I know now and school all those mofos who made my life a living hell.

Am I the only one who had a shitty school experience?

I don’t know when or why I wore this outfit.

I drove by myself today for the first time ever, in my brother’s car. It was frightening, actually, it wasn’t that bad. I can’t park though, like, at all. I drove to the most deserted section I could see and tried to park the car. I had to reverse and go back in, about five times, before the car was placed in an acceptable position. I felt so embarrassed, it’s a good thing nobody was around at the time, that would have been absolutely mortifying. People take their driving seriously in the suburbs man.

To end this post, here is a video of me, unconvincingly thanking everyone. I can’t help it, my voice can be very monotoned, especially when I’m not feeling so great, like right now. Please know, that my thanks are sincere though. Oh, I’m not wearing any make up and my skin is kind of crap right now, I just couldn’t be bothered putting some on for a video, so uh yeah, sorry about my less than desirable looks.