I got this post ready yesterday, however, I was waaay too tired to actually type anything and click the publish button. I’ve been thinking about the future lately. I haven’t properly thought about the future (my future) for a while, like I used to. I guess I’ve been completely preoccupied with other things, other pointless things. Imaginary feelings my mind has been creating, perhaps to purposely distract me. What a bitch.

I’ve been thinking about what sort of career I’m going to pursuit. Although I recently completed my degree in design and am obviously interested in the creative side of life, there is also a part of me intrigued by something else. When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer or a detective, or…. a CIA double agent, hahaha. I actually looked into that once, turns out being a U.S citizen is a requirement to work for the Central Intelligence Agency. Duh. Okay, maybe that interest kind of stemmed from my favourite child hood show, Alias. Whaat? It seemed like an awesome job. Helping fight against the ultimate evil, while dressing up in cool costumes and awesome wigs, who wouldn’t want to do that?

Seriously though, I don’t know why, but I’ve always had a fascination with solving dangerous mysteries, and upholding the justice and blah blah blah. You get the point. I really did want to be a detective at one point, my dad said it was way too dangerous though, so I just gave up on that dream. Plus, I kind of got consumed by my online life in my teens, which set up this path for me. Now that I’m at that point, where I have to start thinking about the rest of my life, I’m not sure what direction I really want to take. Deciding is scary. What if I make the wrong choice? Sometimes the choices are made for me though. I just finished looking at applying for a specific job, sadly the applications closed a few months ago and don’t open again until next year. I was also about to apply for a Master of Counter-Terrorism, however, all places for that course are full fee. Unfortunately, I can’t afford to pay over $15,000 upfront for a course. Are these signs from the universe? I don’t know.

When deciding what to do with your life, people often ask you to consider this question: what really makes you happy? What if you don’t know what really makes you happy? What if there’s more than one thing that makes you happy? What if NOTHING makes you happy? What is happiness? Even if you were to somehow discover what it is that makes you ‘happy’, Is it not highly possible that what makes you happy today could change tomorrow, or in five years, or in five days!!!!!!!!!!?

Ok, ok, let’s not turn this into a philosophy class, cause I aint a philosophy teacher. My boyfriend makes me happy, that doesn’t lead to a job though. What if you’re genuinely confused, then what? I guess only time will tell. Alternatively, I could always decide to completely reject this society I live in and do something completely different. Liiiike, live in an isolated forest without modern technology and grow all my own vegetables. Hmm.

EDIT: WOOOOW, I JUST REALISED I HAVE 100 FOLLOWERS ON BLOGLOVIN’ THANK YOU!!