V I C E
February 22nd, 2012

LACE

The outfit to be showcased for today is not that exciting. Partly because of the weather… fuck this humidity! According to the bureau of meteorology the rest of the week is going to be very humid. YAAAAAAY! So exciting! ……… NOT. I am so over summer. Yes, northern hemisphere, you can have it! Please, by all means, get it away from me! This weather just makes everything such a huge, tiring, effort. I despise it. Doesn’t this happen to anyone else? Don’t you just want to lay around in a pool of ice cream wearing whatever you wear to sleep and not think about getting dressed? I feel so uninspired during summer, you can’t exactly wear too much. Especially, in Australian heat. Let me tell you, we have mild winters, but our summers (unless you live in Tasmania… maybe) are bloody scorchers! *bogan accent* I much prefer the style options that winter provides me with. Eh, first world problems, I sound like such a whiny bitch *slaps self*

Other than the ongoing fashion catastrophe that is the weather, I had an appointment with an endocrinologist today and my dad goes insane if I wear clothing that is far too ‘over dressed’ for serious occasions, like, going to medical appointments. Perhaps I should ‘man up’ and face the music (my dad) but, whatever, I ceebs with that today. Sometimes the thought of listening to the exact same complaint I’ve heard since the age of fifteen makes me want to wear jeans, ballet flats and a v-neck, t-shirt. Don’t worry, that’s not going to happen though. I’d feel like a freakazoid.

Oh, good news friends! I was told that my thyroid levels are perfect, ooh how very exciting! However, I still have to be on medication for at least twelve months. S’all good though, I mean, popping pills is what cool people do, and seeing as I’m a nerdy, goody two shoes, I would like to take every opportunity to be part of the cool gang :D

You know, this is one of the oldest and longest dresses I have. It’s stuck with me since 2008 and has been worn so many times. It’s the most expensive dress I own, it was heavily discounted to $120. Paying more does have its benefits sometimes, I’ve worn this dress more than any other in my wardrobe, yet it doesn’t seem worn out, at all. I’m not sure why I haven’t decided to move on, I seem to tire of my clothes quite quickly so I wonder what’s different about this dress. Hmm.

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Posted in Fashion, First World Problems, Life, Medical Adventure, Rant, What I Wore | 6 Comments »

February 21st, 2012

PMS

I am PMS-ing like crazy right now, sorry if that’s a little too much information for some of you.. but come on, we’re all girls here. I sincerely apologise to any male readers I may have, you might want to skip this post! I just felt so effing gross today. I felt disgusting when I looked at myself in a mirror. In my place, I saw a huge, disgusting, blob, with massive pores and horribly, frizzy hair. Apparently poor self image is a symptom, I only just learnt that. I also felt angry, and highly emotional.

I was at my boyfriend’s place before being all moody and pathetic, moping around and feeling sorry for myself. Eating cookies, crying, wanting to shove copious amounts of food in my mouth. I was depressed that my magazine idea I’ve had for such a long time failed and was just compared to Rookie, before it even began. I was sad that I haven’t really achieved anything in my twenty-one years of life despite thinking of myself as a pretty determined and ambitious person. I was also quite upset about something that always seems to get to me when I’m PMS-ing, even though I know it’s a stupid and pathetic complaint.

I just always feel so ugly. When I was younger, I was called ugly multiple times by guys and no one ever had a crush on me. No one has ever lusted over me and I’ve never been ‘chased’ by a guy. I had to do all the work to be with my boyfriend, which really bugs me sometimes. I’m not sure why. Ugh, what a freaking lame thing to even think about. I should be grateful that I’m healthy (well, kind of) and able to do most things. Ugh, us girls, we literally run on a cycle. Well, I definitely do. I mean, I’m so irritable and irrational right now, all because there are some hormone levels altering in my body. Our state of mind can change so much from a few chemical reactions.

In 2010 when I was about to go to the U.S and leave my boyfriend for 6.5 months, I was PMS-ing, yet again. The Notebook happened to be on television, a week before I was going to depart. That was the first and only time I’ve watched it. I, honestly, cried for the entire movie and it wasn’t even that good! My brother also happened to be in the room at the time, so I had to stop myself from making any sound. I was sitting there, balling my eyes out, I became a silent human waterfall.

Currently, I feel very on edge, I’m going to go before I begin to rant about something entirely pointless.

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Posted in Fashion, First World Problems, Life, Rant, What I Wore | 5 Comments »

February 19th, 2012

IT’S HUMID UP IN HERE

Really, it is. Well, not so much now, but damn, I was very uncomfortable before. My bff and I decided to go op shopping, it was a huge effort during this tropical day. I didn’t find anything. It’s becoming harder and harder to find anything decent at op shops these days. Everyone goes op shopping (thrifting) now. I did manage to find this royal purple, sixties style coat, with a dark purple faux-fur collar and sleeve trims. It was cute, but the fabric was shocking and it was a little bit too small on me.

Other than making daily life a pain, the humidity also seems to turn my skin into a train wreck. So many clogged pores, ew. Does anyone else experience this problem? I think the only positive thing is the fact that I justified the purchase of a white chocolate magnum. Oh man, so good. On second thought, I wonder if that is actually a good thing. I mean, nineteen grams of fat, eight of which are saturated. That’s not exactly… desirable. Ugh, If only junk food was actually healthy, I would be the healthiest of them all! Noticing and realising the actual fat contents of food, makes me want to shove carrot sticks in my mouth. I actually did that before (well, not the shoving part), my boyfriend gave me some hummus to assist with the dull taste of carrots (actually, I don’t think they’re that bad) and I suddenly became aware of something, previously unknown to me. I don’t like hummus. Strangely enough, it tastes like… nothing, with a hint of vomit. Lovely, I know.

I learnt (via more than enough fashion websites) that wearing hot pink and black together is a no-no. Apparently it looks dated. Man, whatever. I don’t care, watch me wear this ‘dated’ style. I had loads of stares today, again. NEWS FLASH, it’s not ok to stare at women like they’re objects, no matter what they happen to be wearing, fuck sticks. Can a fellow human being get some respect?! Geez.

I was working on the coolest gif for DARK VICE, ever, when photoshop decided to start malfunctioning. I was way too ceebs to begin the process all over again. Sorry. I’ll make it again some other time. Here is an image of the Unif Hellbounds, in a magnificent shade of pink instead*. Oh yeah, I’ll be wearing these gems with black clothing too. Suck it, fashion police!

*Image found on tumblr.

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Posted in Fashion, First World Problems, Life, Rant, What I Wore | 10 Comments »

February 15th, 2012

YES!

After having a few pretty boring (mega yawn) outfit days, I was glad that today was a good one. It could have been better if it wasn’t so damn warm again though. Ideally, I wanted to go op shopping today, but I can’t seem to function in this weather. Ah well, what do I expect? it is summer, but only two more weeks of this shit to go! Let’s (or just me) hope that autumn aka fall, cools down quick smart, aye? *bogan accent*

Surprisingly, this outfit was chosen by my boyfriend. My wisdom tooth extraction site began to bleed like crazy at midnight, I was literally pulling out big clots of blood from my mouth, (sorry if that’s tmi) and I didn’t get to sleep until 3.30am, after a big day, so I was bloody knackered this morning. I don’t know what’s up with my slightly bogan wording today. Maybe it’s the painkillers.

Seeing as I was so tired, I begged my boyfriend to choose my outfit instead, so I could just lay there. He did pretty well, I changed the order of the layers, added the harness and I liked what I saw. Sometimes I wish I could wear outfits this good for the duration of the entire week.

Before I forget…

OMFG I FINALLY GOT ZANA BAYNE HARNESSES, WEEEEEEEEEW

I’ve wanted one (all of them) since I saw the first collection. Took me long enough to actually get some. I decided to save up separately for them during my short stint at Hugo Boss and then it was a matter of making the hard decision. I was always going to get the oxford harness, but I had to choose between the basic harness and one of the patent harnesses, I don’t remember the name and her shop is under maintenance at the moment. After seeing these babies, I’ll definitely be saving up to get the other harness I couldn’t manage to purchase this time around.

I could probably wear this oxford harness in every single outfit I have. Really. Does anyone else who have her harnesses struggle to not wear them with everything?

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Posted in Fashion, Life, What I Wore | 14 Comments »

February 12th, 2012

TRANSFORMATION

Ah le sigh, I just got back from the Hospital. I was having very sharp and quite painful chest pains and of course with my history and being a total hypochondriac… I completely freaked out. My freak outs, come on very suddenly and quickly. As soon as I start panicking, my heart starts beating extremely rapidly, to the point that it concerns the doctors, I start sweating everywhere and my temperature goes up. Anyway, I was there for about five hours, and I’m going to stop typing about it now… because even thinking about the whole thing is probably going to set me off again. I was told, that I’m ok, apparently I should bring up my heart rate and pain to my endocrinologist next week. Sigh, being afraid of your mortality so often is so annoying. My boyfriend and I were going to do so much today, instead, we spent five hours in the emergency department. Ok, I’ll move on to the original draft now…

I was at home two days ago, after I’d come back from the city, thinking about who could take my outfit photo. Usually my boyfriend takes the photos for me, sometimes (rarely… if I beg her) my sister does. At that point, my boyfriend and sister were at work and there was no way I was going to ask my dad or brother, they would probably laugh at me. Plus, I don’t think they’re that great with my camera.

I decided that this blog was good enough excuse for me to finally (I’ve had my camera for a little over three years now) learn how to use the self-timer function. I’m not that comfortable in front of the camera, in case you haven’t noticed. I don’t have that natural ability (or desire) to pose, like a lot of girls. I’m glad I have this blog though, I’m glad I have a reason to force myself to take or have photos taken of myself. As awkward as I may find it sometimes.

When I was a baby and throughout my childhood my parents took soo many photographs of myself and my siblings. Hundreds and hundreds of photographs and hours upon hours of video footage. I’m so grateful that they did, because, I don’t know about you, but I love watching my four year old self on video and looking at photographs when I was a child. I find it fascinating, because, you’re watching another person… but you know, that small person, is technically you. I was a completely different person 15 years ago and I enjoy watching how I’ve transformed and looking at the person I used to be.

I’m sure I’ll be a completely different person again in twenty years and I want to have evidence of who I am now. I want to be able to look back and see how I have transformed. I’m not sure why, but I find it very intriguing.

I don’t really like the way I styled this outfit, but I decided to post it anyway. I do think it has potential so I’m going to wear it again, maybe in a few weeks, and try to make it look better. Nothing wrong with some trial and error. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has these questionable outfit days.

These are the little prizes I won from playing arcade games earlier on in the week.

Seeing as I was typing about this transformation of people that I find interesting. I decided to share some (actually quite a few) photos from the past. Some are really old, some… not so old.

The photo on the bottom is the day my sister was born, my brother and I were there to visit.

The photo on the left is my first day of primary school and my brother’s first day of kinder.

Taken in 2009, during the first year of Uni.

Photos from the first semester of second year at Uni, 2010. The photograph of me wearing the pink wig was taken by my friend for one of the projects we had to complete. My boyfriend thinks I look like a political dictator in this photo for some reason… what the shit? I don’t see it, I think I look like a puffy muffin. 

At summer camp in upstate New York, August, 2010.

NYC!! Ah, good times.. July, 2010.

Eaton Centre, Toronto, Canada.

Trying on an awesome hat in Toronto. I didn’t buy it, I don’t think it was big enough for my huge head haha. Blowing bubble gum in Niagara Falls. Last photo is one of my first days in my dorm at SUNY, Buffalo. September 2010.

Class days at SUNY, Buffalo… probably October, 2010.

Halloween, 2010.

My last day at SUNY, Buffalo, December 2010.

Photos from last year (2011)

Ah, I miss my pink fringe.

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Posted in Fashion, Freak out, Life, What I Wore, Wondering | 16 Comments »

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