V I C E
April 25th, 2012

SHIVER

It’s currently 12.59AM, The Bureau of Meteorology informs me that it’s 10 degrees celsius. It seems like it’s finally cooling down in Melbourne. I’m ready to sleep, but my hair is wet and my room is cold, so I have to wait. What better way to pass the time, than to blog? I can hear cars doing burn outs right now, I find that shit so lame. There must be a lot of people going out tonight, as tomorrow is a public holiday for us living ‘down under’. All I want to do is be warm and sleep though, damn you wet hair!

I wore this outfit on Saturday night to attend two parties. Two very different parties. I was trying to look unique enough for the second party, yet ‘normal’ enough for the first. Finding a balance wasn’t easy. I felt ridiculously overdressed at the first party and a little boring at the second. Eh. Whatever.

I feel like too much of a zombie to keep typing, but I want to add one more thing before I end this post. Two days ago, after my boyfriend and I had dinner in the city, we were walking towards the train station. On the way, we walked by a homeless man asking for money. I was shocked at what he asked everybody who walked by, “spare some change for heroin?” Err, give you my hard earned money so you can purchase heroin? I think not! Ah… people.

April 22nd, 2012

WASTED

I’m wasted. Not in the intoxicated sense, in the drained, physically exhausted sense. My body is so frail and weak, after three intensely busy days, I’m ready to just crawl into a dark cave and sleep for weeks. Like an animal in hibernation. I’m so ridiculously tired right now, I don’t even know how I’m typing right now. I want to sleep so badly but it’s only 10.11PM. A little less than two hours till I can allow myself to sleep.

Quite possibly the only time you will ever see my teeth exposed. If these images didn’t already make it obvious enough, I graduated a few days ago. I spent my last official day as a student. I guess I’m an alumni now. Ready to… TAKE ON THE WORLD. Mostly, I just really want to get a job, an actual graphic design job, sooner rather than later.

Ancora Imparo

Hugging my graduation teddy.

I think this Ramones t-shirt is the oldest clothing item I have. I bought it when I was 15, six years, that’s a pretty long time for me. My dad thought it was inappropriate for the formal graduation ceremony. Whatever, I wanted to wear it because I purchased it around the time I really started to take creativity seriously and actually thought about pursuing something like graphic design as a future career. It kind of symbolises the journey I’ve taken since that time.

April 20th, 2012

STEP BACK MOFO

Man oh man, I really hate waking up as early as I constantly seem to these days. I mean, eight a.m without an alarm? …WHAT THE FUCK

is going on?

Despite what you may be thinking, it’s not because I particularly loathe the morning or anything. I actually don’t mind the morning, in fact, I’ve been waking up with a bizarre hyperactive energy. I hate waking up so early because I frequently seem to enter this daily afternoon slump for a few hours. It usually occurs between 3 – 7pm. I evolve into this tired, slow, mess and productivity totally ceases. Oh well, I think the feeling is finally wearing off, while I’m forcing myself to type something in this wordpress box.

I ‘officially’ graduated yesterday, but I’ll muse more about that some other time. Perhaps tomorrow, probably not. Tomorrow shall be a surprisingly busy day for me, full of… *gasp* social events. I have a social life? Who knew? My social life hasn’t really peaked since 1998.

I told some creepy guy to STFU today. I was walking, or rather… stomping, silently, overwhelmed by anger, from my mother’s place of residence today. Last time I walked away from her house, some old creepy man from a bakery walked to the shop door and yelled, “hey baby” at me as I strolled past his store. I turned my head and glared at him quickly, before continuing to walk. This time, I was fucking pissed man, so as I walked past, he came out with his suggestive glances, and in the same creepy voice called out, “hello… how are you?”. I know that isn’t exactly a horrible thing to say, but his intentions were clear, so I turned to him, gave him the most vicious look my face could possibly create and said, “Maan, shut the FUCK up and stop talking to me!” I know, my choice of words, unbelievably unique, right? He looked stunned and I continued to walk away. I felt a little mean, but I’m sick of males thinking they’re allowed to just stare at me like that, without any respect at all, just because I happen to dress differently.

I met some random children on the way home who followed me down one of the streets. It was two young girls, the older girl proudly told me she was seven, they were sisters. During the short distance, they told me how much they liked my dress, shoes, bow and hair, haha, I wish adults in the area were so approving. The seven year old seemed stunned and shared that she’d never seen a girl like me, ever, before asking if I was a teenager. When I informed them that I was 21, they both paused, looked up at me and said, “woooooooooooow”. Ha, children, amused and amazed so easily.

April 18th, 2012

OOOPS

So, I haven’t blogged for six days. Mah bad. I guess I just haven’t been in a sharing mood lately, which is, kind of necessary for blogging. More like, I’ve  been looking like shit recently, no joke. Working equates to boring outfits, unworthy of being documented. I get home from work and wear my pyjamas and then spend the rest of the day trying not to be anxious. What a bloody long journey with anxiety. It is getting better, (for anyone who may care to know) I promise! I have realised that permanently being free of that mind frame is a long process.. I just keep telling myself that if my imaginary, over exaggerated chest pains and sensations were in fact a serious issue, I highly doubt I’d still be alive right now. I mean, it’s been going on for months.

Moving on to a lighter topic. Orthodox Easter falls on a different date to regular Easter, so my family celebrated Easter this past Sunday. I didn’t really celebrate it myself though. Usually I’d be somewhere, stuffing my face. This year, the slightly sickening tradition of over eating had to be postponed as I had work, as did much of my immediate family. I still decided to wear some bunny ears to mark the ocassion. Not that the easter rabbit has anything to do with the original meaning of Easter. Wow, I just typed that word (Easter… ah! I did it again!) six times. Geez, someone matrix me a new vocab, fo real.

I’m just going to stop typing now because I can’t get over how dull and boring I sound. Hopefully someone will inject some life into me soon. People have referred to me as Daria so many times, I can’t exactly blame them. You should hear me in real life, HA HA HA HA HA. TTYL.

April 2nd, 2012

HIGH PITCHED

I have an interview with a few cool girls ready to share soon, I just need to get around to setting up the images for the post already. I’ve been busy, trying to manage my anxiety lately. Sounds like a lame excuse, but it’s not easy and it preoccupies me. I think I’m getting better at convincing myself that I’m not about to drop dead, which seems to be particularly difficult to do when I’m alone. Sigh, sometimes I really wish time machines existed, so I could change a few things in my history, that way I wouldn’t be dealing with these problems now. Aaanywaaay…

What I wore for a day of driving practice, blood tests and other non exciting activities that are mandatory in life. I wish Melbourne would make up its mind about the weather. I guess that’s just the way Autumn is though. The constant temperature changes make me feel sick, plus this humidity… ugh, I just want it to be over.

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