One of my ‘lazy’ day outfits. I love this coat but decided to have it altered, I think it looks better now, you’ll see soon

Going to University changed this a little, I met people I felt like I could relate to a lot more. Social situations didn’t make me feel quite as uncomfortable and nauseous anymore. I still remember the first week of Uni though. At the end of it, I felt so exhausted and drained. All that socialising. Meeting so many new people made me feel stressed and nervous. I felt like all my emotions had been sucked out of me and I spent that first weekend avoiding catch ups and activities with people I had only met a few days ago. I spent the weekend in my little shell trying to find social energy within myself, so I could function normally during the weeks ahead.

This must make me sound like such an awkward freak.

I don’t think I’m quite as awkward these days, I definitely have more confidence and I’m better at acting ‘normal’ around people, however, there are still situations when I try to avoid being close to people and certain social events still make me feel nervous. Sometimes, simply speaking to someone I’m not familiar with makes my face go red and I begin to sweat profusely. Tmi? Sorry.

My boyfriend is basically exactly the same, perhaps even a little worse than me. Sorry bf! We both avoid people to a certain extent. For example:

This has actually happened a few times and it often annoys the hell out of me. Sometimes I catch the train at around 1 or 2pm when public transport isn’t particularly busy. Sometimes, I’m lucky enough to enter a carriage with no one else on it. I go and sit somewhere and the train moves along with its journey. At the next stop, a person gets on the train. Now, say this was the other way around, and I was the person entering a carriage with one person inside it, I would go and sit as far away from this other person as possible. However, in many instances, the new person walks towards me and sits right next to me. Despite a whole carriage free, with endless seating possibilities, someone decides to sit uncomfortably close to me. Once this happened with an old man, he came and sat opposite me, so I was basically sitting there, in an empty carriage, with a random person staring at me. I got up at the next stop and moved. Am I the only one who would react that way? I can’t be…

This has also happened in restaurants. My boyfriend and I went to an Indian Restaurant one day. It was empty, so we could sit wherever we liked. About 20 minutes later, a mother with three young girls came in and decided to sit on the table closest to us. My boyfriend and I were slightly surprised, we both agreed that had it been us, we would have sat as far away as we could. In this instance, this was slightly annoying. As cute as those young girls were, they were also extremely loud and a little irritating. I wish they weren’t so damn close the whole time. My boyfriend and I didn’t even feel like we could speak during that meal because we were the only people in the restaurant and we felt like they could hear every single thing we were saying. Perhaps that was just paranoia on our behalf, but I found it annoying.

The same thing happened a few weeks ago. This time we were in a restaurant in the city for lunch. It was a fairly cold day so we decided to sit inside, again, we were the only people in there. About ten minutes later, a group of three women in their twenties came in, and once again, literally sat on the table closest to us. On this particular occasion, I wanted to shoot myself. All three women were gossiping extremely loudly and that was basically all I was listening to for the duration of my lunch.

I don’t get it. Why do people subconsciously strive to be so close to other people? Even when they’re in their own groups? Does it make them feel safer?Someone please tell me my boyfriend and I aren’t the only two who feel this way!

Images of Florence and Cate from the Alexander McQueen Facebook page

Florence Welch and Cate Blanchett. The dress that Florence is wearing is incredible. However, It doesn’t look like it would be easy to pull off. Florence has an amazing sense of style though and she can pull off a lot of crazy shit, I love the extravagance of the dress. If you’re not familiar with her, or her style, type her name into the Tumblr search bar, some of her ensembles are soo good! Cate also looks absolutely stunning. I love the fact that the dress is black (of course), I love the high neckline and the overall texture of the piece. Both of these ladies are dressed in Alexander McQueen. Although, I could never afford to buy anything from this spectacular label, at least not for now, I thought I’d participate in some harmless online browsing anyway.

Images of dresses from farfetch.com

These prints guys, they’re freaking amazing! wouldn’t you agree? Clothes like these give me this desire to get into textile design. If you have any spare change you can buy or just check out the designs of Alexander Mcqueen at farfetch.com. The online store also has a lot of other heavenly clothing that I sadly can’t afford. I was thinking about creating a few mock ups of clothing with my prints covering them. You know, just to see what it would look like. What do you think? Should I try that out?

I thought I’d randomly skip ahead in my queue of outfits to post and share what I wore yesterday. It was quite cold, and the only person who could take my outfit photo was my yiayia (grandmother) so I don’t have too many photos of this particular outfit. Only the two I’m sharing actually. You can’t see what is underneath the jacket, but don’t worry, it’s not great. I have to get that dress altered.

I’ve been waiting to wear these socks since about November last year. They’re quite thick so I had to wait until it was cold enough. I originally wore them with my creepers but I felt like that typical image of a witch way too much. You know, like the witch from the Wizard of Oz or something? Not necessarily a bad thing, but not me.

Eh, I like this jacket, but man, it’s covered in so much lint right now. Any advice on how to remove it?

Sorry I’ve been a little slack with posting lately. I’ve just had a lot of stuff on my plate. It’s a shame because I have quite a lot of ~controversial~ things I’d like to discuss, but no time to sit here and type I promise that the next post will be more interesting!

My instructor actually thought I drove quite well tonight, which was a relief, I thought I’d be terrible because this was only my second lesson I’ve been on for over a year. Everything was going smoothly, I was driving on the freeway at 100km/h when out of NO WHERE I noticed a police car parked with the sirens turned on. A man was running across the freeway signalling people to stop. It was a little frightening, as he was wearing black, and it was dark, so I barely saw him! The two police officers had torches and were also signalling that all the cars stop moving. We were right at the front of this chaos, so we could see what was going on.

My brain always thinks of the worst case scenario, and immediately I thought that the car parked on the side of the road ahead of us, had a bomb. The actual problem wasn’t quite that dangerous. My instructor pointed out a black cow running alongside the freeway. There was a cow running all over the freeway, obviously a hazard, so we were all told to park where we were, while they figured out what to do. I saw the cow run past us a few times. I won’t lie, I was a little afraid, but I also felt bad for the animal. With all those flashing lights, it couldn’t have been a pleasant experience.

We were stuck there, on the road, for over twenty minutes, until we were allowed to continue driving. This particular freeway has four lanes and is fairly busy, I can’t even imagine how many cars were parked behind us. What an eventful night. Have you ever had a crazy driving experience?

P.S Does anybody have a Pinterest account? Would anybody mind sending an invitation my way?

I wore this about a week and a half ago, I spent the day with my boyfriend doing.. I don’t remember and then later met up with some friends to go to a fashion market. It was alright, I didn’t buy anything myself. There were quite a few nice things, they just didn’t fit in with my style.

I tried these pink glitter shoe laces on my JC renos, I’ve switched them back to the gradient laces now though. I used the pink glitter shoe laces on my black JC damsels with pink spikes. Describing them as awesome would be an understatement. Can’t wait to share them, probably in a few posts from now.

I planned this outfit for my friend Well, except for the sequin blazer underneath, she bought that at the fashion market.

Her fabulous Damsel Spikes, I wanted these but waited and purchased the version with pink spikes.

The friend’s friend, I really liked what she was wearing. I just threw on my outfit that day and these girls made me feel a little… boring, I guess. Oh, don’t worry, not asking for sympathy, no need to make me feel better haha. I have a few interesting things to discuss, well, at least I think so, but the topic didn’t really fit in with this post. Next time.

I have many things to share, however, it’s a little late and I have to wake up early. Tomorrow was going to have a large portion of it dedicated to my beloved blog… I picked up an extra shift at work though, so I decided to squeeze in this post. I’d feel evil if I just ditched DARK VICE for five whole days.

Man, I have so many outfits queued right now, ready and waiting to be blogged about. Hopefully I’ll get around to that soon, huh? I’ll comment back to everyone tomorrow after work. To those who are heading to sleepy land, sweet dreams

I’ve been thinking about what sort of career I’m going to pursuit. Although I recently completed my degree in design and am obviously interested in the creative side of life, there is also a part of me intrigued by something else. When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer or a detective, or…. a CIA double agent, hahaha. I actually looked into that once, turns out being a U.S citizen is a requirement to work for the Central Intelligence Agency. Duh. Okay, maybe that interest kind of stemmed from my favourite child hood show, Alias. Whaat? It seemed like an awesome job. Helping fight against the ultimate evil, while dressing up in cool costumes and awesome wigs, who wouldn’t want to do that?

Seriously though, I don’t know why, but I’ve always had a fascination with solving dangerous mysteries, and upholding the justice and blah blah blah. You get the point. I really did want to be a detective at one point, my dad said it was way too dangerous though, so I just gave up on that dream. Plus, I kind of got consumed by my online life in my teens, which set up this path for me. Now that I’m at that point, where I have to start thinking about the rest of my life, I’m not sure what direction I really want to take. Deciding is scary. What if I make the wrong choice? Sometimes the choices are made for me though. I just finished looking at applying for a specific job, sadly the applications closed a few months ago and don’t open again until next year. I was also about to apply for a Master of Counter-Terrorism, however, all places for that course are full fee. Unfortunately, I can’t afford to pay over $15,000 upfront for a course. Are these signs from the universe? I don’t know.

When deciding what to do with your life, people often ask you to consider this question: what really makes you happy? What if you don’t know what really makes you happy? What if there’s more than one thing that makes you happy? What if NOTHING makes you happy? What is happiness? Even if you were to somehow discover what it is that makes you ‘happy’, Is it not highly possible that what makes you happy today could change tomorrow, or in five years, or in five days!!!!!!!!!!?

Ok, ok, let’s not turn this into a philosophy class, cause I aint a philosophy teacher. My boyfriend makes me happy, that doesn’t lead to a job though. What if you’re genuinely confused, then what? I guess only time will tell. Alternatively, I could always decide to completely reject this society I live in and do something completely different. Liiiike, live in an isolated forest without modern technology and grow all my own vegetables. Hmm.

EDIT: WOOOOW, I JUST REALISED I HAVE 100 FOLLOWERS ON BLOGLOVIN’ THANK YOU!!  

I’ve recently decided that I really like leopard print. Not as much as black, I don’t think anything will EVER replace black for me, in terms of clothing. I’m planning to dress in head to toe leopard print this season, whether I actually leave the house in such an ensemble is yet to be decided. So, yes, I like leopard print and I really like this jacket but damn it, it is waaaaaaay too big for me. I bought it from H&M in Toronto in 2010. My friend and I were on a day trip from Buffalo that day, and we were kind of going insane in all the stores. Buffalo was literally empty, so we were excited. This jacket was on sale, so cheap and I ended up just grabbing one and buying it on impulse. Too bad I forgot to check that it was two sizes too big, which isn’t always a big deal when it comes to jackets and coats, however, when I wear this jacket, I almost feel like I’m being swallowed by it. I’m supposed to be wearing the clothing, not the other way around, you know what I’m saying?

Next on my leopard print hunt is flatforms. I would really like a pair of leopard print creeper looking flatforms with a black base/heel, I’ve searched the internet high and low but my digital journeys remain unsuccessful. If anyone knows of a cyber portal I can purchase shoes matching my description, let me know, please

Imma just wrap this up here, because… well, we all know why. I think this is, visually, my favourite post ever. Probably because I used a piece from an illustration I created for one of my favourite projects at Uni last year. I’m most likely never going to beat this post haha, aaaah, THE PRESSURE!!!!!

good night.

I wore this outfit on Saturday night to attend two parties. Two very different parties. I was trying to look unique enough for the second party, yet ‘normal’ enough for the first. Finding a balance wasn’t easy. I felt ridiculously overdressed at the first party and a little boring at the second. Eh. Whatever.

I feel like too much of a zombie to keep typing, but I want to add one more thing before I end this post. Two days ago, after my boyfriend and I had dinner in the city, we were walking towards the train station. On the way, we walked by a homeless man asking for money. I was shocked at what he asked everybody who walked by, “spare some change for heroin?” Err, give you my hard earned money so you can purchase heroin? I think not! Ah… people.

I recently ordered a few lipsticks from Illamasqua, I currently own a black lipstick from the brand and guys, their lipstick is so good. It’s definitely the best quality lipstick I own. I’m looking forward to receiving the new shades I ordered. Anyway, I didn’t bring this up to mainly discuss lipstick. While I was on their website, I noticed that they supported a charity called S.O.P.H.I.E, I was intrigued and decided to find out what it was about. The story I read horrified me. Readers from England and Europe might already know about this. The charity name stands for, Stamp Out Prejudice, Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere. The girl the charity is named after, Sophie Lancaster, was kicked to death in 2007 while she was walking home with her boyfriend, for no reason other than dressing like a goth. Her boyfriend was attacked first and Sophie shielded him, in an effort to protect him. She was then attacked herself. Both Sophie and her boyfriend went into comas after the attack. Her boyfriend survived, but tragically, Sophie never recovered and her life support was switched off. This poor girl had her life taken away because she looked different. Isn’t it terrifying that dressing differently could make you a target for the worst type of people that exist?

Reading stories like that make me realise how fucking disgusting the human race can be. I feel so bad for her mother, how could you ever feel that justice has been served after an event like that? What a horrific, terrible way to die. What’s even worse, is that apparently the youths who went ahead with this vicious attack, had absolutely no remorse, apparently the main offender was joking and laughing with his mother when he was being questioned by police. Ugh, the whole thing just makes me sick. You can read more about the charity here.

Quite possibly the only time you will ever see my teeth exposed. If these images didn’t already make it obvious enough, I graduated a few days ago. I spent my last official day as a student. I guess I’m an alumni now. Ready to… TAKE ON THE WORLD. Mostly, I just really want to get a job, an actual graphic design job, sooner rather than later.

Ancora Imparo

Hugging my graduation teddy.

I think this Ramones t-shirt is the oldest clothing item I have. I bought it when I was 15, six years, that’s a pretty long time for me. My dad thought it was inappropriate for the formal graduation ceremony. Whatever, I wanted to wear it because I purchased it around the time I really started to take creativity seriously and actually thought about pursuing something like graphic design as a future career. It kind of symbolises the journey I’ve taken since that time.