D A R K » Rant

February 22nd, 2012

LACE

The outfit to be showcased for today is not that exciting. Partly because of the weather… fuck this humidity! According to the bureau of meteorology the rest of the week is going to be very humid. YAAAAAAY! So exciting! ……… NOT. I am so over summer. Yes, northern hemisphere, you can have it! Please, by all means, get it away from me! This weather just makes everything such a huge, tiring, effort. I despise it. Doesn’t this happen to anyone else? Don’t you just want to lay around in a pool of ice cream wearing whatever you wear to sleep and not think about getting dressed? I feel so uninspired during summer, you can’t exactly wear too much. Especially, in Australian heat. Let me tell you, we have mild winters, but our summers (unless you live in Tasmania… maybe) are bloody scorchers! *bogan accent* I much prefer the style options that winter provides me with. Eh, first world problems, I sound like such a whiny bitch *slaps self*

Other than the ongoing fashion catastrophe that is the weather, I had an appointment with an endocrinologist today and my dad goes insane if I wear clothing that is far too ‘over dressed’ for serious occasions, like, going to medical appointments. Perhaps I should ‘man up’ and face the music (my dad) but, whatever, I ceebs with that today. Sometimes the thought of listening to the exact same complaint I’ve heard since the age of fifteen makes me want to wear jeans, ballet flats and a v-neck, t-shirt. Don’t worry, that’s not going to happen though. I’d feel like a freakazoid.

Oh, good news friends! I was told that my thyroid levels are perfect, ooh how very exciting! However, I still have to be on medication for at least twelve months. S’all good though, I mean, popping pills is what cool people do, and seeing as I’m a nerdy, goody two shoes, I would like to take every opportunity to be part of the cool gang

You know, this is one of the oldest and longest dresses I have. It’s stuck with me since 2008 and has been worn so many times. It’s the most expensive dress I own, it was heavily discounted to $120. Paying more does have its benefits sometimes, I’ve worn this dress more than any other in my wardrobe, yet it doesn’t seem worn out, at all. I’m not sure why I haven’t decided to move on, I seem to tire of my clothes quite quickly so I wonder what’s different about this dress. Hmm.

Tags: angry, annoying, art, asos, dark vice, design, fashion, gif, grave's disease, heels, hyperthyroidism, I HATE SUMMER, jeffrey campbell, lime crime, me, medical, myl, photography, rant, shoes, solestruck, style, tardy, velvet, wedges
Posted in Fashion, First World Problems, Life, Medical Adventure, Rant, What I Wore | 6 Comments »

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February 21st, 2012

PMS

I am PMS-ing like crazy right now, sorry if that’s a little too much information for some of you.. but come on, we’re all girls here. I sincerely apologise to any male readers I may have, you might want to skip this post! I just felt so effing gross today. I felt disgusting when I looked at myself in a mirror. In my place, I saw a huge, disgusting, blob, with massive pores and horribly, frizzy hair. Apparently poor self image is a symptom, I only just learnt that. I also felt angry, and highly emotional.

I was at my boyfriend’s place before being all moody and pathetic, moping around and feeling sorry for myself. Eating cookies, crying, wanting to shove copious amounts of food in my mouth. I was depressed that my magazine idea I’ve had for such a long time failed and was just compared to Rookie, before it even began. I was sad that I haven’t really achieved anything in my twenty-one years of life despite thinking of myself as a pretty determined and ambitious person. I was also quite upset about something that always seems to get to me when I’m PMS-ing, even though I know it’s a stupid and pathetic complaint.

I just always feel so ugly. When I was younger, I was called ugly multiple times by guys and no one ever had a crush on me. No one has ever lusted over me and I’ve never been ‘chased’ by a guy. I had to do all the work to be with my boyfriend, which really bugs me sometimes. I’m not sure why. Ugh, what a freaking lame thing to even think about. I should be grateful that I’m healthy (well, kind of) and able to do most things. Ugh, us girls, we literally run on a cycle. Well, I definitely do. I mean, I’m so irritable and irrational right now, all because there are some hormone levels altering in my body. Our state of mind can change so much from a few chemical reactions.

In 2010 when I was about to go to the U.S and leave my boyfriend for 6.5 months, I was PMS-ing, yet again. The Notebook happened to be on television, a week before I was going to depart. That was the first and only time I’ve watched it. I, honestly, cried for the entire movie and it wasn’t even that good! My brother also happened to be in the room at the time, so I had to stop myself from making any sound. I was sitting there, balling my eyes out, I became a silent human waterfall.

Currently, I feel very on edge, I’m going to go before I begin to rant about something entirely pointless.

Tags: american apparel, angry, annoying, asos, dark vice, design, fashion, gif, heels, jeffrey campbell, me, photography, rant, shoes, solestruck, style, vintage, wright
Posted in Fashion, First World Problems, Life, Rant, What I Wore | 5 Comments »

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February 19th, 2012

IT’S HUMID UP IN HERE

Really, it is. Well, not so much now, but damn, I was very uncomfortable before. My bff and I decided to go op shopping, it was a huge effort during this tropical day. I didn’t find anything. It’s becoming harder and harder to find anything decent at op shops these days. Everyone goes op shopping (thrifting) now. I did manage to find this royal purple, sixties style coat, with a dark purple faux-fur collar and sleeve trims. It was cute, but the fabric was shocking and it was a little bit too small on me.

Other than making daily life a pain, the humidity also seems to turn my skin into a train wreck. So many clogged pores, ew. Does anyone else experience this problem? I think the only positive thing is the fact that I justified the purchase of a white chocolate magnum. Oh man, so good. On second thought, I wonder if that is actually a good thing. I mean, nineteen grams of fat, eight of which are saturated. That’s not exactly… desirable. Ugh, If only junk food was actually healthy, I would be the healthiest of them all! Noticing and realising the actual fat contents of food, makes me want to shove carrot sticks in my mouth. I actually did that before (well, not the shoving part), my boyfriend gave me some hummus to assist with the dull taste of carrots (actually, I don’t think they’re that bad) and I suddenly became aware of something, previously unknown to me. I don’t like hummus. Strangely enough, it tastes like… nothing, with a hint of vomit. Lovely, I know.

I learnt (via more than enough fashion websites) that wearing hot pink and black together is a no-no. Apparently it looks dated. Man, whatever. I don’t care, watch me wear this ‘dated’ style. I had loads of stares today, again. NEWS FLASH, it’s not ok to stare at women like they’re objects, no matter what they happen to be wearing, fuck sticks. Can a fellow human being get some respect?! Geez.

I was working on the coolest gif for DARK VICE, ever, when photoshop decided to start malfunctioning. I was way too ceebs to begin the process all over again. Sorry. I’ll make it again some other time. Here is an image of the Unif Hellbounds, in a magnificent shade of pink instead*. Oh yeah, I’ll be wearing these gems with black clothing too. Suck it, fashion police!

*Image found on tumblr.

Tags: american apparel, asos, dark vice, fashion, gif, heels, hellbound, hot pink, jeffrey campbell, jones + jones, photography, pink, shoes, solestruck, style, unif, wright
Posted in Fashion, First World Problems, Life, Rant, What I Wore | 10 Comments »

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February 14th, 2012

I DON’T LIKE VALENTINE’S DAY

If I see another blog post about V-day, I think I’m going to puke. I thought about whether or not I should include that, it seems a little harsh. However, I noticed someone mention their dislike for people who are against this day, so I was like, screw it, let my animosity towards Valentine’s day be known! I have never liked this day and I doubt I ever will. Unless you’re new to this blog, you will already know that it’s not because I’m single. Yes, I am in a relationship and we didn’t celebrate it. I did get two of my wisdom teeth out today, but that’s not why!

I don’t like it, probably for similar reasons that other people don’t like it. It’s so commercial and just… shit. Now you can say, oh sure, it’s a little commercial these days but, what about the romance? But come on, if you’re that in love, don’t you find it (v-day) slightly (understatement, EXTREMELY) cliche and not that romantic at all?

I mean, what the hell is romantic about someone buying you red roses or a tacky hallmark card or heart shaped chocolates? etc. Most people (mostly guys) purchase these things for their significant other because they have basically been brainwashed to, they’ve been told that these things are romantic, these things will make your partner appreciate you more. These completely pointless gifts are so generic and involve little to no thought. I don’t see how buying into it, is romantic at all. I’d find it far more romantic if my boyfriend organised something ‘romantic’ for us to do on any other day, (when it won’t cost triple the price and be a lot more spontaneous/exciting) purely because he wanted to, not because he felt pressured by a stupid money making scheme.

I also don’t enjoy Valentine’s day because a lot of people think that it’s the one day where it is absolutely ok to publicly display their affection. I mean, I don’t mind seeing people hold hands, or kiss… occasionally, but full on make-out sessions? Please people, keep it at home and have some damn respect for the people around you. When I eat, I don’t really like to watch a couple have a tongue battle, and yes, sometimes, there is nowhere else to sit. The city is a busy place!

Ugh.

I’m going to move on to the Wisdom teeth removal now. I had it done at the dentist, in the chair, as people say. I didn’t feel any pain at all, not even when the needles to make my mouth numb were going in. When the dentist was taking the teeth out, I felt pressure, but no pain. The thing that freaked me out the most, was the effects of the medication that numbed my mouth. It caused heart palpitations and my whole body (mostly legs) was shaking. At the end of the procedure, I felt like I couldn’t breathe and became kind of claustrophobic, so that part was fairly frightening. My cheek isn’t puffed up anymore and I can talk properly now. I haven’t had any pain killers for about seven hours and, currently, I’m not experiencing any pain, which is good. Hopefully this continues tomorrow.

I tried to do the beehive style with my hair, it turned out… ok, unfortunately I don’t have any pictures of the end result, because just as I finished, I went to hospital. It was the day of the freak out. I think I’m going to attempt it again in a day or two, I’ll take photos then.

I had an interview for a volunteer position yesterday, I applied to help out at L’oreal’s Melbourne Fashion week, so I tried to go for a simpler look. I still looked like the most ‘alternative’ person in the room. Sigh, hopefully that didn’t go against me. This velvet skirt is sooo comfortable but as I walked, it kept going up my not so small thighs. So sadly, it’s off to the e-bay sell pile. Which has been growing for six months. As soon as I get the internet, (I’m seriously hoping in a day or two now) I’m listing everything! I’m going to sell my lita spikes too, they are nice… but I just don’t wear them enough. Oh, I start most of my bids at 99 cents. If anyone is interested… let me know, so that I may share the links when I upload.

Pretty low key outfit today, well… the dentist liked my outfit! haha.

So I haven’t seen anything from NYFW that has really excited me so far. I decided to share a few things I thought looked interesting though.

First up, we’ve got Marc Jacobs. Not really my style, well, I could possibly imagine myself in a few pieces… maybe. I like the glitter looking fabric thing going on. Is it just me, or did anyone else think of Dr. Seuss once looking through this collection?

I’m not exactly a fan of grey, but I think this collection by Thom Browne looks fascinating.

Tags: american apparel, angry, annoying, cuffed, dark vice, design, fashion, gif, heels, jeffrey campbell, marc jacobs, me, nyfw, photography, pink, shoes, solestruck, style, thom browne
Posted in Design, Fashion, First World Problems, Life, Rant, What I Wore | 6 Comments »

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February 11th, 2012

SO WHAT IF I DON’T WANT TO PROCREATE?

When I was younger, and until quite recently, I was against the idea of having children. Not in general, just for myself. I didn’t imagine myself as a mother in the future and I didn’t really think that I’d ever want to have a baby. Being in love… (yes, we’re all allowed to change our minds, as often as we like) has changed that completely. Not that I’ve completely changed my mind. If I do have children one day, I’m fairly certain that I only want to have one… funny, I’ve been told this is selfish.

I was thinking about my old thoughts yesterday and remembered a few things during the time I had my previous beliefs. I can’t even count how many times people were shocked to find out that I didn’t want to be a mother one day. I’m relatively freaked out, at how much people, in general, just expect everyone to have babies at some point in their life. When I was younger and I was asked why I didn’t want to have children, I once responded explaining that I didn’t wish to spend so much time and effort on another person, I didn’t want to dedicate an entire lifetime of being heavily depended on. Most of the time the person listening would be utterly stunned and appalled, most of the time, I’d be deemed selfish in response.

I wasn’t sure how not choosing to have a baby was selfish in any way, for whatever reason. I didn’t understand why I even needed a reason for not wanting to bear children. I was confused, in fact, I still am. Why is the decision not to become a parent one day, so odd to people?

Presently, the planet has a great deal of humans living on it, to the point that we’re sucking out its natural, err, juices (oil) for resources, and that can’t exactly be a good thing. What happens to a fruit if you manage to suck out all the liquid?

People are living much longer. Medical technology is constantly evolving and progressing, so it’s not like an urgent need to procreate the human species like crazy exists. I also find it disturbing when people (like my mother) frown upon those who adopt, despite having the ability to reproduce. There are countless, innocent, children… dying, in various parts of the world. These children already exist, through no fault of their own. In a way, doesn’t it make sense to save these poor children before deciding to have more? I personally admire people who choose to adopt children who are basically in need of rescuing.

I also find it quite rude that upon hearing an individual’s very personal choice, another person may decide that it’s completely ok to begin telling them why they’re sooo, very wrong. Why the hell is it such a big deal that we all get married and pop out babies anyway?

I remember I was watching a show on T.V once, and someone on the panel was discussing how giving birth is the most beautiful miracle that exists blah blah blah. You know, the usual corny shit you hear about having children. Another woman on the panel (she is a mother) told the audience that, this belief, is complete bullshit. Her reason? People give birth every second, of every single day. There are more than seven billion of us on this struggling planet. Giving birth isn’t exactly that amazing.

I realise that as humans we have evolved and developed consciousness and the ability to have profound thoughts, complex relationships etc. So, having a baby is, of course, quite significant for each individual who decides to do so. But, in the larger scheme, it’s really not that incredible. As a species, we are pretty much programmed to procreate and keep our species going, for as long as possible, that’s what living organisms do… well, most of them.

This is why I’m slightly confused at why some people think deciding not to have children is such a huge deal. I think it’s sad when individuals, who have chosen not to go down that path, feel pressured from their parents and other people they know to have children anyway. As I stated before, in comparison to the ‘big picture’, reproducing is not a huge deal, but in terms of our little bubbles. It’s a major decision for each of us, and whether a certain person wants to, or doesn’t want to become a parent should only be for him or her to decide.

Sorry about my random rants/posts. I have a lot of thoughts piling up in my head all the time and I’m glad that I finally have an outlet for them, where they won’t get stored and take up space on my computer.

I decided to wear this light pink lace top again, the outfit I wore with the shiny hot pink dress made it look puh-retty lame. I tried to make it look better. I think it worked. =/