Posts in Category: Freak out

MY DREAM SHOES

This is another new segment that I’m going to try and feature on a weekly basis. Long time followers of the blog and my instagram are probably aware of my obsession with shoes. I really am addicted. Being so in love with something has made me quite fussy and picky when it comes to footwear. I often look at shoes from a brand I like and imagine different combinations of the products they have. I decided to bring my imagination to life and merge shoes I like together to create my ultimate dream shoes. I’ll be featuring different brands I like each time.

Today I have focused on Windsor Smith. Many of you might know them for their infamous, ‘Lily’ shoe. I first noticed the shoe worn by Sofie in December 2012. Since then, the shoe has grown in popularity to the point that I literally see at least one person wearing it every single time I go out. I’m not even lying!

Anyway, behold, my dream shoes! Btw, I know some of these mock ups don’t look the best, I’m not a professional 3D model maker, hopefully my shoe mock up skills will get better after a few of these.

dreamshoes2Despite loving shoes, I actually really hate feet so I avoid open toe shoes at all costs! I really liked this shoe, but it was open toe, so this alteration was pretty simple, I just made this shoe closed. Windsor Smith Fend

dreamshoes6This one was hard. The proportions of the top were quite different to the heel so I had to warp like crazy, the end result looks a little screwed, but you get the idea! I would LOVE to own shoes like these! :) Combination: Fend (altered) + Haven The Haven has to be one of my favourite heel bases. It looks Stella McCartney inspired.

dreamshoes4I think this is a cute take on the lollipop shoe. What do you think?

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Another shoe I would definitely buy if it existed! This would look so cool and I can imagine it being quite comfortable. I started with the Lucerne shoe for this idea.

dreamshoes3I think the Lollipop and Lucerne shoe look great combined! Don’t you? 

dreamshoes5Left this till last because it was my absolute favourite! Oh my god, I would freak the hell out if this existed. I could imagine it looking great with so many different outfits. Aaah, *dreaming* This is a combination of the Haven and Natalia (altered)

So what do you think? Lame, or awesome? Would you wear any of these? YOU KNOW I WOULD :)

 

HI THERE

God knows if anyone will read this post or if anybody will even remember this blog exists. It’s been five months, that’s a pretty dayum long time. I feel terrible and I miss blogging so very much :( my existence has just been absolutely swamped lately and I have not completed so many things I want to complete.

I plan to post again soon (I hope) but long story short: my career as a graphic designer, at this stage, will most likely never actually happen so I was pressured by my family to enrol in a post-graduate education course. I was incredibly nervous and apprehensive, but what the hell? I’m actually enjoying it =/ weird. Well, maybe not that weird, I was, after all, a complete nerd in high school. Anyhow, a brand called SWAYCHIC kindly sent me this dress like three weeks ago and I’ve been so damn busy, I had to squeeze editing these images during my time on placement these last two days. I even got in trouble for being on my laptop in class :( and cried :( :( but I felt terrible and I was almost certain the lovely people at Sway Chic were going to turn into monsters and kill me because of how delayed my images were. Not really monsters, but you know what I’m saying… I basically just felt really bad. So, sorry guys! I’m sure many of you are familiar with this online store, they have pretty cool stuff for very affordable prices.

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My god, it was a nightmare trying to shoot such a lovely floral dress whilst it’s pouring, gloomy, dark and freezing in Melbourne right now, plus, I have like zero summery clothes right now… so I basically struggled, but I think I did an alright job considering. Anyway, the dress is super ca-ute! If you’re interested, check it out here.

Anyway, must go pass out from exhaustion. TTYL.

GOOD BYE

EDIT//UPDATE (20.01.2013)
I’M CURRENTLY PREPARING TO POST AGAIN. EDITING THE SITE LIVE, SO, IF THINGS LOOK FUNNY FOR A FEW DAYS, THAT’S WHY.

This is a message, to let you all know that DARK VICE will be having a hiatus indefinitely. I love blogging, I’ve been doing it since I was 13 years old, blogging and the internet and teaching myself web design and blah blah blah, is what got me into graphic design in the first place. But right now, it’s also in the way of me actually pursuing graphic design as a serious career. I’ve been blogging on Dark Vice for over a year now and it’s been great, but it’s also heavily distracted me from doing something a lot more important. Actually focusing on getting a design job. I’ve been out of University for an entire year now, and I’m still just a casual in retail. An old casual who is probably going to lose her job to people who are a lot younger and can therefore be paid a lot less. If I don’t stop and focus seriously on getting a design job, I feel like I might have a mental breakdown. It’s time to get real. Most people who were in my course have design jobs or internships now. All I have is a low paying, dead end job… and a blog, that’s it. I thought sticking with the blog might get me a few design work opportunities, and editing images for my posts is good for my creativity. But let’s face it, it’s not enough, it’s no where near enough and this blog is obviously not going to really help me get a job anytime soon.

I didn’t start Dark Vice to get a job through it, but I’m a motivated person. If I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it properly, which is why I put so much work into the images on this blog, why I think so hard about the topics I write, why I don’t just type about how trendy the 90s are right now, and I love this blog but I can’t survive through its existence. I need to shift my motivation to something that will actually help me achieve my goals in life. Like moving out of home, moving to another country, travelling, starting a clothing label with my prints. Money isn’t everything, but I need to make some of it to have a life.

I’ll be back, soon, I hope. It might take a few weeks, a month maybe, much more than a month, and I’d be procrastinating. I’m a speedy worker when I set myself deadlines, so I’ll be back soon and this time, I will actually have something proper to showcase to the world.

Thank you to my small group of followers who have left such kind and thoughtful comments. Thank you for the support during some of the darkest moments of my life last year. AAH, I’m getting teary just typing this. I’ve felt like a loser for the majority of my life, but you guys make me feel like… maybe, just maybe, I do belong somewhere.

Enjoy the holiday season :)

- Sophie.

P.S I’ll still update the FACEBOOK page occassionally, I mean, as if I’m not going to share my Black Friday purchases! You can always contact me through my Tumblr ask box, or my e-mail: dark-vice@hotmail.com and I’m obviously always free for design work. ^_~ 

I’M SO OVER THE HUMAN RACE BEING SCREWED

The charming words in the title are the result of a rant my sister had tonight. A rant because of the main story that has been taking up a majority of news time locally, recently. If you’re Australian, you have most likely already heard of the tragic case of Jill Meagher. If not Australian, and unaware, type her name into Google, it won’t take you long to figure out what happened. I’ve walked on Sydney Road, quite a few times, during the day and a couple of times during the night. It is not a place you expect to find yourself threatened. Then again, a place that makes you feel unsafe and on edge shouldn’t even exist. I will never understand how anybody could ever think it’s ok to murder another individual. What right do any of us have to take life away from somebody else? No right, is the answer, nobody has that right. No one. 

About a week and a half ago, Madeline posted this. Madeline, is a smart cookie and she’s correct when she tells us that we still need feminism. To be blunt, and very Australian here (if ya know what I mean) fuck oath we do. Madeline’s post made me begin to think about all of the times, I have been treated differently, because of my gender. Because, I happen to be a female. Do you know how many times people tell me to fucking smile? Do you? I’ll tell you, A LOT. Most of the time, I just shrug it off, because I’ve heard it on so many occasions that I’ve become used to it, but sometimes, it really angers me. Why is it so important that I constantly smile? Once, an old man, basically ordered me to smile more. For what fucking reason? I don’t see anybody approaching any men, ordering that they smile more. Why, do we, as women, have to constantly exude this overtly polite, nice, warm, friendly, nature? If a man doesn’t smile, no one thinks anything of it, if a man looks pissed off… still, no one thinks much of it, in fact, many even find this attractive. You know, the whole… ‘bad boy’ image. If a woman doesn’t have a huge smile on her face 24/7, there are those who will assume she’s a bitch. I know this, because people have told me. I don’t smile very often, it’s not that I’m constantly miserable, but my natural facial expression doesn’t position itself into a fucking smile. I have no control over the way my face naturally looks without expression, yet people feel the need to constantly tell me to smile. Why the hell do I have to look friendly and welcoming all the time anyway? I actually like the fact that I happen to look unapproachable most of the time, perhaps it will deter freaks from approaching me when I’m alone. So yeah, there is that whole smile problem.

Another thing. A few weeks ago when I was working, I mentioned how awesome I was (because you know, in some ways, I am pretty awesome), my colleague (a male) made fun of me and mocked my confidence. At that moment, it was like there was a lightbulb in my head that suddenly turned on. Why should I not have confidence? I thought to myself. I explained to him that I find it bizarre that female confidence is often questioned and perceived as bitchy, especially if the confidence is displayed frequently, (unless it’s the social sort of confidence, the type of confidence that makes it easy for a woman to approach a man and strike up a flirty conversation, that’s the type of confidence men love) while male confidence and sometimes even arrogance is seen as a positive or merely laughed off.

Back to the whole smiling issue now. Have you ever been approached by a creep and spoken to? Have you ever looked back and given them the fuck off look? Have you ever told a bunch of boys to leave you alone? I have, and the response I most often remember is something along the lines of:

Why are you such a bitch?
I just wanted to talk!
You’re a slut!!!!!!!!!!!
All of these are always said in a frightening, aggressive tone

So you know, because I don’t want to engage in a boring conversation with some seedy dude, I’m a slut. Uh huh. You know what’s fucked up? Men don’t even really have an equivalent word to describe assumed promiscuity. It’s only us women that get the whole slut card shoved in our faces. I find the whole slut calling thing, when you’ve told a guy to get lost, really messed up. Firstly, because… well, what the fuck is a slut anyway? That is such a stupid, pathetic, oppressive insult. You know what I’m saying girls? Secondly, somebody randomly calling me a slut, is assuming that I happen to have sex with a lot of people, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I find it rude that somebody would make assumptions about my sexual activity and attempt to degrade me for it, just because I don’t want to speak to them. As if I have some obligation to speak to them, just because they happen to be a man.

I think what a lot of men have to realise, is that we are not pieces of fucking meat. Yes, even if I’m wearing a short skirt and a crop top, even if my thighs are exposed, even if I have decided to expose cleavage, whatever. That does NOT IN ANY WAY OR FORM GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TREAT ME LIKE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I AM, A FUCKING HUMAN BEING.  When I’m driving, I don’t appreciate being stared at by older men in their cars or trucks, like a bloody object. I’m not a toy in a fucking department store, show some god damn basic respect. The whistles, the cat calling, the blatant stares, no, I don’t find them flattering, I find them insulting and guess what?! That doesn’t make me a bitch.

Jill Meagher did not deserve what happened to her because she was walking alone, she didn’t deserve it because she had been drinking, she didn’t deserve it because she was pretty, what happened to her was not okay because she wasn’t some douche bag’s idea of what ‘hot’ is. It is never, ever, EVER, EVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER, okay to rape someone. EVEEER!! I don’t care if the girl is fucking naked and drunk, it is NEVER OK. Okay. Good. There is nothing a woman can do that makes rape justifiable. It is always wrong and it’s never the victim’s fault. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise, because that is the biggest load of bullshit that could possibly exist.

SELL YOUR SOUL

I’m still sick, it sucks. I’m not even talking about the physical aspect, I hate how anxious it makes me feel. I’ve actually been in a pretty decent state of mind in terms of my anxiety issues lately. Being sick has just made my brain kind of spiral out of control. I’ve been touching the bones where my chest is frequently for the last three hours and of course constantly pressing on that area is making me think about it, and thinking about it leads to pain. This ‘imaginary’ pain freaks me out and then I begin to feel like I’m struggling to breathe, even though I’m not. Ugh, I hope I get better soon. It’s difficult when I have six shifts at work this week :( At least writing this blog post is helping to distract me.

Must re-dye my hair but so damn ceebs at the moment.

I recently got a few of my designs printed. Twenty 5×7 prints and an 8×12 print. I’m going to put a few up for sale, a pack of 10 5×7 prints and three different packs of 20 5×7 prints. Twelve different 8×12 prints will also be available, I’ve got everything organised, I just need to finalise prices. I’m trying to keep everything as cheap as possible, I mean, I know I’m not an amazing well known artist or anything. I also want to create a few designs for t-shirts, tights and uuh, just clothes in general. I’ll get around to it, eventually. Ha, I don’t even know if anyone will be willing or wanting to buy any of these prints… aaaanyway. We’ll see. I’m also thinking of making them available for a zine swap type thing, even though my packs won’t technically be a zine, I’d still be up for swapping a 20 pack of my prints for a zine :)

Preview of a few 5×7 prints.

One of the prints in the series of 8×12 designs