V I C E
February 26th, 2012

BAKING

The title refers to the persisting heat that is engulfing the area I spend my days in. How many times am I going to rant about the heat though? I could probably rant about it every single time it’s like this. I could complain about the humidity, tell the sun to fuck off, ask the ozone layer hole on top of this continent to heal already, but, I won’t bore you with all that today. My anxiety seems to have resided for the time being, (finally) hallelujah! Maybe it was all the monthly hormonal changes messing with me, who knows?

Remember my whole rant about my magazine dreams? Well, I’ve decided to start a little smaller and aim for something in between a zine and a magazine. I’ve decided not to discuss it much. I don’t want to feel trapped into a certain way it (the… book, I guess) should look, or what it should be… exactly. I’m happy with the process being unplanned. I usually don’t plan my design anyway, it’s mostly spontaneous. Besides, this way, I can’t get e-mails explaining how my idea is un-original. This… magaZINE will be original, in some ways, and it won’t be in others. It’s a little difficult to be completely original when it comes to the creation of a medium that has been created countless times.

For the people that missed out on the original, huge, magazine proposal post, I’ve edited a small selection of my uni design work, so you may see, that I have the design skill to do this. I’m showing you this, because I would like people to contribute and I want you to feel confident (at least, somewhat) in my abilities. If you have anything you would like to contribute to this… thing, (I don’t know what to call it) please feel free to e-mail myself at dark-vice@hotmail.com

As this will be more of a spontaneous process, I don’t have any particular articles in mind, if you have something you would like to write, let me know. I don’t really need any image contributions, I would like to try and create all the design and illustrations for it myself. Seeing as I would ultimately like to have a job in the design field, I feel I should do that entire part. If anyone has any exciting street style, or something you think would be cool though, don’t hesitate to ask.

On to the outfit you are about to see. Seeing as I become completely dormant (unless it is absolutely necessary that I be active) during heat waves, I don’t have any reason to be dress in anything other than the clothes I sleep in. I wanted to try and make myself feel better about the hot days though, so I decided to dress up like a snow flake last night.

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Posted in Art, Design, Fashion, Life, Sigh, What I Wore | 10 Comments »

February 14th, 2012

I DON’T LIKE VALENTINE’S DAY

If I see another blog post about V-day, I think I’m going to puke. I thought about whether or not I should include that, it seems a little harsh. However, I noticed someone mention their dislike for people who are against this day, so I was like, screw it, let my animosity towards Valentine’s day be known! I have never liked this day and I doubt I ever will. Unless you’re new to this blog, you will already know that it’s not because I’m single. Yes, I am in a relationship and we didn’t celebrate it. I did get two of my wisdom teeth out today, but that’s not why!

I don’t like it, probably for similar reasons that other people don’t like it. It’s so commercial and just… shit. Now you can say, oh sure, it’s a little commercial these days but, what about the romance? But come on, if you’re that in love, don’t you find it (v-day) slightly (understatement, EXTREMELY) cliche and not that romantic at all?

I mean, what the hell is romantic about someone buying you red roses or a tacky hallmark card or heart shaped chocolates? etc. Most people (mostly guys) purchase these things for their significant other because they have basically been brainwashed to, they’ve been told that these things are romantic, these things will make your partner appreciate you more. These completely pointless gifts are so generic and involve little to no thought. I don’t see how buying into it, is romantic at all. I’d find it far more romantic if my boyfriend organised something ‘romantic’ for us to do on any other day, (when it won’t cost triple the price and be a lot more spontaneous/exciting) purely because he wanted to, not because he felt pressured by a stupid money making scheme.

I also don’t enjoy Valentine’s day because a lot of people think that it’s the one day where it is absolutely ok to publicly display their affection. I mean, I don’t mind seeing people hold hands, or kiss… occasionally, but full on make-out sessions? Please people, keep it at home and have some damn respect for the people around you. When I eat, I don’t really like to watch a couple have a tongue battle, and yes, sometimes, there is nowhere else to sit. The city is a busy place!

Ugh.

I’m going to move on to the Wisdom teeth removal now. I had it done at the dentist, in the chair, as people say. I didn’t feel any pain at all, not even when the needles to make my mouth numb were going in. When the dentist was taking the teeth out, I felt pressure, but no pain. The thing that freaked me out the most, was the effects of the medication that numbed my mouth. It caused heart palpitations and my whole body (mostly legs) was shaking. At the end of the procedure, I felt like I couldn’t breathe and became kind of claustrophobic, so that part was fairly frightening. My cheek isn’t puffed up anymore and I can talk properly now. I haven’t had any pain killers for about seven hours and, currently, I’m not experiencing any pain, which is good. Hopefully this continues tomorrow.

I tried to do the beehive style with my hair, it turned out… ok, unfortunately I don’t have any pictures of the end result, because just as I finished, I went to hospital. It was the day of the freak out. I think I’m going to attempt it again in a day or two, I’ll take photos then. :)

I had an interview for a volunteer position yesterday, I applied to help out at L’oreal’s Melbourne Fashion week, so I tried to go for a simpler look. I still looked like the most ‘alternative’ person in the room. Sigh, hopefully that didn’t go against me. This velvet skirt is sooo comfortable but as I walked, it kept going up my not so small thighs. So sadly, it’s off to the e-bay sell pile. Which has been growing for six months. As soon as I get the internet, (I’m seriously hoping in a day or two now) I’m listing everything! I’m going to sell my lita spikes too, they are nice… but I just don’t wear them enough. Oh, I start most of my bids at 99 cents. If anyone is interested… let me know, so that I may share the links when I upload.

Pretty low key outfit today, well… the dentist liked my outfit! haha.

So I haven’t seen anything from NYFW that has really excited me so far. I decided to share a few things I thought looked interesting though.

First up, we’ve got Marc Jacobs. Not really my style, well, I could possibly imagine myself in a few pieces… maybe. I like the glitter looking fabric thing going on. Is it just me, or did anyone else think of Dr. Seuss once looking through this collection?

I’m not exactly a fan of grey, but I think this collection by Thom Browne looks fascinating.

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Posted in Design, Fashion, First World Problems, Life, Rant, What I Wore | 7 Comments »

January 30th, 2012

HUMIDITY… YUCK

If there is one thing I might possibly hate more than this awful heat, it’s definitely the humidity making it seem even hotter than it already is!! Usually Melbourne has dry summers, well, for as far back as I can remember anyway. Instead, during the past two years, the warmer season has become very humid. Last summer we had a day of 99% humidity, NO SHIT. The humidity level was higher than Singapore.

I’m sure you’re all very interested in my rambles about the weather. Haaa, JOKING. If anyone actually cares, you could always visit one of my favourite websites, the Bureau of Meteorology or as I just like to call it, BOM.

If only it was winter, I could have looked like a PRETTY snowflake (!!!) yesterday. In contrast, I just felt like a melting marshmallow.
S I G H. My dad decided to enlighten me with his expert style advice yesterday, (once again) and I learnt that the dress I decided to wear was highly inappropriate for the way the climate was behaving. What the shit?! I felt so exposed in this outfit. I had no sleeves, and there was nothing covering my back. Plus, it isn’t black! Pretty appropriate if you ask me.

AAAAAAH, I forgot to get a photograph of the back of the dress. Next time, next time. There will definitely be a next time, because I just love this dress, no sarcasm intended, seriously. I think I’m going to try and shorten it a little. Perhaps you see no need, but, I’ve kind of become obsessed with all my dresses being at the perfect length for me.

I really want to discuss the magazine, but my bf’s internet is still slow as hell and I’ve got a few other posts in a queue before I get to it. Luckily, my dad finally signed up to get the interwebz at my humble place of residence, so I’ll be able to manage this blog and all my ideas a little better by the end of the week (hopefully) or early next week.

See, it’s so effing hot, that I just lay there passed out for the majority of the day, allowing all the calories that have entered my body via 3 scoops of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (DON’T JUDGE ME, THEY WERE SO GOOD) to just make their way to the already problematic thigh area.

It’s perfectly normal to cover your head with a laundry bucket, right?

Posted in Design | 9 Comments »

January 27th, 2012

SO YOU THINK YOU’RE SPECIAL?

Think that you’re soooo important? Pretend that you live in a pretty world with unicorns and pink magical fairy dust?! (it’s a reference to tumblr girlz that you may or may not understand) Well, GUESS WHAT?

You aint special, because one day, you’re going to DIE just like EVERYTHING else on this planet. Err, ok, that isn’t really the reason. Avoid the thought of death, think happy thoughts! NOBODY PANIC, NOBODY PANIC

Here we have, earth and a representation of a person, aka, me. Let’s pretend, that the earth has a lovely pink tinge. See how small we are? DO YOU SEE IT? Well, you have no idea my friends.

Yeah, Jupiter could crush us into a few measly specks of dust. Better not mess with it.

Ahaha, does anyone else feel just as insignificant as I do when they picture these things?

It gets even more unbelievable…

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW FUCKING BIG THAT STAR IS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WHOLE PLANET WE LIVE ON IS LIKE A PUNY MICROSCOPIC GERM COMPARED TO THAT THING. We pretty much don’t even exist. We are like, invisible fragments, dwelling on a puny rock, freaking out about shoes and Twilight (LAME) and shit.

I feel like a teeny weeny cookie crumb. Yum, cookies. Sorry for this random post, I have been feeling this… anxiety provoking, impending sense of doom recently that I’m struggling to shake off. It’s kind of unsettling, so I’m trying to distract myself.

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Posted in Design, Fashion, Life, What I Wore, Wondering | 8 Comments »

January 19th, 2012

HOW TO BE THE COOLEST GUY IN THE ROOM

Have you ever wondered how to be the most awesome person ever? Have you ever wished you exuded that cool, calm, demeanour, that makes your hipster idols so, like, perfect? NEVER FEAR, my friends, for I shall teach you the ways of the cool group.

1. TRIANGLES, I can not stress the importance of Triangles.

If you, like me, make graphics, put them everywhere. Especially on random backgrounds.

Put triangles, everywhere. Put them in your hair, wear t-shirts with them, draw them in your sketchbook, make triangle signs with your hands. Pray to triangles, breathe triangles, BECOME… a triangle.

Remember what I said about placing triangles on random backgrounds? That actually works with any symmetric geometric shape.

And there you go, your very own trendy as fuck image. Ten bonus points if you get it printed on a t-shirt and wear it to coffee and cigarettes (of course) with your friends.

2. Take webcam photos of yourself, trying to look as fucking sexy as you can.

Post images like these frequently but complain about how ugly you are and how girls like Angelina Jolie are soo perfect!! Lyk ohmahgawd, y cant i juz look like herr?!

3. Constantly discuss and bring up how you just don’t understand people and simply can’t even big to fathom the human race. Express how alienated and isolated you feel most of the time, when in reality, you have a booming social life, consisting of many drug fuelled parties and disco dancing.

4. Frequently complain about how disgustingly overweight you are, even though you’re an AUS/UK size 6/8 (US SIZE 2/4) in the presence of your larger friends.

5. Become a vegan (not because you give a shit about the animals, very important), give people shit for eating meat or dairy (vegetarians like me) yet still wear leather and real fur. Justify your actions by telling people your stuff is second hand. Despite the fact that you’re glamourising the products to anybody who sees you and doesn’t know where your items may have been purchased. Oh and smoke cigarettes despite the fact that most cigarette companies conduct horrible animal testing. Even better, roll your own (especially in front of others to show off your rolling skills), despite having the money to afford actual cigarettes.

6. Repeatedly use lame phrases like ‘Cool beans’, ‘oh poo’ (I hate that word), ‘so groovy’, you’ll be totally ironic and soo awesome!!!!

7. Create pretty imagery and post negative phrases on top. Like, “go fuck yourself” or “I want you to die :) ”

8. Act like total top shit, put other other people’s tastes down and prance around knowing that your musical tastes, grungy nonchalant style, and everything else about you is SOOO much better than anyone else’s ideas. Even though you enjoy Beyonce, Lil ‘Wayne and a few other mainstream artists (Even though you used to glare your friends off for listening to stuff like that 4 years ago), just cause it’s like ironic and cool now, ya know?

9. Transform into a total bitch if people question your taste at all in response to dissing theirs. In general, just be a complete dick to people who disagree with you in any way, because you obviously know everything. I mean, you’re pretty much god, k?

10. Of course, you should only hang out with people who agree with your highly pretentious and obnoxious views and only be seen with people who reflect the exact same fashion sense that you have. Being seen with a typical dude or someone who is too ‘over dressed’ could pretty much result in… SOCIAL SUICIDE!!!!

11. One of the, perhaps, most important parts of being the sickest bitch ever, is to be part of an almost incestuous group consisting of equal amount of boys and girls. Attempt to date every single person in your group.

11A. Your dream place to visit should be Berlin and your favourite music, folk rock. (Music too quick is SUPERR LAAME, EEEEEEW)

12. One must always give off a cool, suave, ‘I DON’T GIVE A FUCK’ vibe. Any public display of too much emotion could render one a peasant to the remainder of your awesome group of the awesomest people ever.

13. Believe that you’re so awesome that you’re basically above the rest of humanity and always display self destructive habits, because as one cool indie-vidual once told me “true artists are self destructive”* Ah yes, words of wisdom my friends.

P.S This was written with the intention of possibly being amusing to some people. Personally, I try to live by what the ancient greek sophists used to say, “I know one thing, and that is, that I know nothing” So true…

*Fuck you.

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Posted in Design, Fashion, Life, Rant, What I Wore | 10 Comments »

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