Are you familiar with that feeling, when you have a cold? It’s the end of the day, your throat feels sore from the constant speaking and perhaps lack of hydration, your nose is horribly dry from the overuse of tissues, and you just generally feel not so hot. Yeah, that’s me right now. We’ve all been there. I woke up this morning in immense pain, and ate some yoghurt as quickly as I could so I could give my stomach some sort of lining in preparation for the pain killers I swallowed. I set off for work. Ah work. I’m so over it some days. Seeing people there, from my past, that I don’t really want to see. It’s lame. I’m sure we all know what that feels like too. Oh how I crave the day I move from this city. I want to go somewhere where I’m completely anonymous. I feel like being anonymous will liberate me. Actually, I know it will. There is far too much pressure to conform here, not just pressure from the randoms that stare at me, from the people that society dictates I’m supposed to be the closest to.
But this post isn’t going to be a sad one, this post is going to be angry, because I am angry. There’s nothing wrong with being angry and there’s nothing wrong with having negative emotions. It doesn’t make you a bitch, it doesn’t mean you’re a party pooper or that you’re insecure or whatever. Anger is just another emotion as worthy as all the other emotions we are capable of feeling. Oh and don’t worry, despite how it may seem, I’m really not mad or negative all the time, it just so happens that I find a lot of angry topics more interesting. In reality, I am a decently pleasant person to be around. I don’t just stand there, giving everybody death stares. Or do I?
Yesterday, I was at home, trying to rest my virus infested body. My boyfriend very kindly came over and sacrificed his own health to keep me company. We decided to sit down and watch a movie. I was feeling quite content at that point, just sitting there, being calm, watching a movie, everything was alright. Five minutes into the movie, I hear an abrupt, loud, knocking on the door. I walk over, to find my grandparents standing outside. This is going to be interesting, I thought to myself. My grandparents are so old fashioned, I wasn’t sure if my boyfriend being there was acceptable to them. They came in, and my grandmother decided she was going to make a meal for the entire family. I repeatedly told her not to, but she insisted. It’s frustrating. I know I should be thankful, but really, everyone in my family is an adult, we don’t need her to come and cook for us. She should be enjoying herself, not doing chores for us. Unnecessary chores. What annoyed me even more, is the fact that I was sitting there, trying to relax, my grandmother comes and starts making some meal. Of course, I felt obliged to go help. My simple plans were ruined. When my grandparents are over, I have to begin doing house chores and continue to do house chores for the entire duration, otherwise, my grandfather will find a reason to whinge about something.
I was going about my business, doing house work, like a good greek girl, so I wouldn’t have to deal with crap from my grandfather. For a moment, I got tired and sat down. Grandpa asked what was wrong with me, I responded by informing him that I was sick. He gave me utter look of complete disgust and said, “yeah, you’re sick, yeeeah right”. At this point, I was so frustrated, I could feel tears building up in my eyeballs. I went and sat in my room, ranting to my boyfriend about how annoying his mentality is. Because I’m a girl, my place in life is to only be a house wife, that’s it. (Side note: You know once, my grandpa actually questioned why I was studying at University, he told me I should be at home learning to cook instead.) When I composed myself, I left my room and found my grandmother in my brother’s room attending to ALL of his chores. My sister’s room was messy as well, but my grandmother ignored that and marched straight to my brother’s room. Meanwhile, my grandfather was going INSANE because my sister’s room was not immaculate. He always yells things like, “For a girl, her room is so terrible, she should be ashamed of herself”. Ok, fair enough that you want someone to be neat, but why the emphasis on the fact that she’s a female? Why does the guy get away with doing nothing?! I mean yes, my brother works, but so do I and so does my sister, and if anything, my brother has the least physical job. Most of the time, he’s sitting in an office or driving around.
Anyway, back to my grandmother in my bro’s room. She made his bed, and was now folding all his clothes. I got so angry, and told her to stop. I proclaimed that my brother should be folding his own clothes and making his own bed. She totally snapped, “NO, he’s your brother, he’s a man, he doesn’t have to do this, the woman should do EVERYTHING You and your sister should be looking out for your brother, he doesn’t have to do anything.”. I was fuming. What the fuck man?! Okay, I didn’t actually respond like that, but I sure as hell was thinking it. What excuses my brother out of his duties and why should I be responsible for cleaning up after him and basically being his god damn slave? Because I’m a woman and he’s a man? GET FUCKED (not my grandmother, just this idea in general) that is bullshit.
Honestly, I feel quite sorry for my grandmother. That’s all she knows, she’s just grown up, in my eyes, basically being a slave to my grandfather. I mean, sure, he worked hard, but she worked too, and it isn’t fair that even now, when neither of them are working, she still has to do EVERYTHING. When the hell is she ever going to enjoy her life? Never, because (and I told her this) she’s been brainwashed, and doesn’t even know how to relax, or do something for herself, her whole life is just about doing things for other people. My grandmother also told my boyfriend and I, that if we don’t eat meat, WE WILL DIE. Ah, so cringe worthy, considering my boyfriend has been a vegetarian since birth. I do have a level of respect for them both, but unlike the majority of my family, I can’t even pretend to agree with these ideas. I just can’t, it goes against my own morals way too much.
Here is me, trying to make the outfit photos look a little more interesting by doing something other than just standing there like a statue.