Today, I was waiting at a bus stop with my boyfriend and we were discussing the chapter of our lives titled: high school. High school, as some of you may remember, was an awful time for me. In year seven, where reputations are made and never forgotten. My completely clueless mother forced me to have my hair cut at a very, very short and unflattering length. She also refused to let me wax or pluck my eyebrows, the result: being left with a uni brow. I actually can’t believe I’m admitting that, WHATEVER, it’s just hair, and I’m old enough to realise that anybody who is going to judge me on that basis is not worth my time anyway. She also wouldn’t let me shave my legs. My dress was at the natural maxi length of the garment. Everyone else’s was tiny, at a mini length, basically everyone would have their school dresses altered… everyone that is, except me! My mother also didn’t allow me to wear make up, so everyone could see my oily pimply skin in all its glory, I didn’t have any hair tools either, so my hair was a short, frizzy, terrible mess.
This made my self esteem so low, that I basically didn’t even exist. I gained the ugly, gross, loser person status… which was hard for me, I had to sit at the front of the class every single day, by myself, people basically refused to sit next to me. All of this created a terrible experience, in some ways, it was truly scarring. No wonder I despise the human race so much these days. However, when I think of it today, what frustrates me the most, is how fucking shallow and cruel teenagers can be. Actually, not just teenagers, people in general. No one wanted to talk to me because I was ugly. I wasn’t a mean person, I wasn’t ‘weird’, I wasn’t ‘strange’. I just didn’t look pretty. I was smart for my age, I was also very mature and damn it, I WAS COOL! Yes, if you think I seem conceited for saying that, FUCK YOU. I’ve had enough days of feeling like shit about myself, if I want to say that I was cool, so be it. I was a ‘loser’ because everybody saw me that way, but I wasn’t really a loser, I knew a lot of things, and I was way more mature than most of the other mean people in my class, I was mature enough to actually take my education seriously and not take it for granted. Most people on the planet sadly don’t even have a chance to get an education, but no one in my class thought about that at the time. I was called a nerd day after day, for putting some effort into my work.
I wish people wouldn’t be so quick to judge. Don’t judge people before you even know them guys, just don’t. Don’t be mean to people for no reason either, IT’S EVIL. Especially because of the way one might look. Good looks have nothing to do with a person, ‘good’ looks are determined by genetic luck and looks fucking fade quickly anyway. I don’t know about you, but I will happily take personality over looks any day, and no this isn’t just something ‘ugly’ people say. This is actually why I get so annoyed about people going insane about randoms on tumblr because of how “OMFG BEAUTIFUL” they are, but that’s another story.
I was a little disappointed, even in my boyfriend, when I was telling him all of this. When I told him my school dress used to be long he responded with this.. “ugh” sound. I questioned him and he told me even he had the urge to tease girls with long dresses, although he didn’t. Apparently it was just so ‘weird’ and ‘odd’. This kind of pissed me off. As if us girls who had the longer dresses chose this, our parents wouldn’t let us alter them, and even if a girl DID choose to have her dress longer, WHO THE FUCK CARES?! IT’S A FUCKING DRESS PEOPLE.
Ok, I don’t even know who I’m directing this at right now. Clearly, I have a lot of anger built up about my whole high school experience. High school spans from year (grade) 7 to 12 here by the way. I can’t help it, sometimes I wish I could go back in time, knowing what I know now and school all those mofos who made my life a living hell.
Am I the only one who had a shitty school experience?
I don’t know when or why I wore this outfit.
I drove by myself today for the first time ever, in my brother’s car. It was frightening, actually, it wasn’t that bad. I can’t park though, like, at all. I drove to the most deserted section I could see and tried to park the car. I had to reverse and go back in, about five times, before the car was placed in an acceptable position. I felt so embarrassed, it’s a good thing nobody was around at the time, that would have been absolutely mortifying. People take their driving seriously in the suburbs man.
To end this post, here is a video of me, unconvincingly thanking everyone. I can’t help it, my voice can be very monotoned, especially when I’m not feeling so great, like right now. Please know, that my thanks are sincere though. Oh, I’m not wearing any make up and my skin is kind of crap right now, I just couldn’t be bothered putting some on for a video, so uh yeah, sorry about my less than desirable looks.